در ایوان جلوی خانه ام

به یک درخت کاج خیره میشوم .

جایی دور، خیلی دور,

صدای رعد را میشنوم .

برق خیلی خشمگینی بدنبالش میاید.

ابرهای قرمز آسمان تبدیل به خاکستری میشود,

وقتی درخت کاج از حمله رعد و برق زخمی شده;

در این طوفان مجنون

طوفان مجنون ...

JUDAS KISS- Seventeen- At Last ✍ ✖ ☎ ☔ ☗ ☯ ✚

... she heard a sound from stairs:

"Mom, what's going on?"

"Mom? Oh, my God, my son!" Helen breathed

heavily!

Her lungs heaved arduously, as she took a glance through the half open door, and saw the young man, tall, so good looking with grayish blue eyes, tan, identical to her in face and to Jacob in body and height. He had the aura of Jacob, the young Jacob that she had fallen in love with, not the corrupt Jacob of many years passed that New years Eve Party, who was Mr. powerful lawyer!!

He had a full head of blond hair, just the color of her hair!

"I don't know honey!" Jennifer said. "There is a lady here wants something from me!"

Helen thought for a moment on the choice words that Jennifer had used to explain Helen, "WANTS SOMETHING FROM ME!!", and she right away Knew that Jennifer had already connected the dots. This woman was here to ruin her life. She was not a type to share her son, Peter, with his biological mother. It was obvious that she felt threatened by Helen!

Peter came to the door. Helen breathed strenuously. She held on to the door, so she would not fall since her knees were shaking beyond her control. As she breathed laboriously, a stream of agony came out of her mouth.

Peter put his arm around his mother, Jennifer's shoulder. Jennifer's height was up to his shoulder. Helen breathed in everything she could see and hear, so she would never forget!

"I'm so sorry!" Helen blurted out the words with the last strength she had left in her. "I think I'm in a wrong house! Perhaps I'm lost!"

Jennifer had already seen the resemblance of her son and Helen. She also sighed, feeling sorry for Helen, yet being so thankful that she had changed her mind to ruin her life.

"It's okay!" Jennifer said; and closed the door. Helen turned around and ran the three stairs and then towards her car!

~*~*~

As she was getting close to her boss's home to take care of his animals, and mails, and ..., since he was out of town with his boyfriend, she thought about the bad economy, about the rumors that they might close the company, or some would be laid off.

The country was in a big chaos. It was the year 2011. Many people had lost their jobs. The president of the country, which she had voted for, because she was so impressed by his message of hope, had turned out to be doing nothing. She always voted Republican, in fact her ideology was very conservative. In fact, many thought that the President was a very liberal, almost socialist man! He had made the country into a complete plight; the debt of the country had passed fifteen trillions with T!

Steve had lost his job, but it did not matter, since it was close to his retirement anyway and he had a good pension. She thought to herself:

"Did I leave food out for Miss Daisy and Tony?" She could not remember. Her pets were big eaters!!!

~~~~~~~```********* THE END *********```~~~~~~~~

JudaS KISS- Seventeen- At Last ✍ ✖ ☎ ☔ ☗ ☯

The maid answered yes to Helen's question of:

"Is miss Jennifer home?"

Helen insisted that she wanted to see Jennifer:

"It's very important matter!" She told maid. "No, I can't give you my name!" She answered the maid, who was trying to do her job.

"Does Miss Jennifer expect you Miss?"

"No, I should have called, but I didn't! Please I must see her!"

Helen was still not sure if she would stay or run, by the time Jennifer would come to the door; if she would ever come to the door, if the maid changed her mind and told her that Miss Jennifer was not home, or she was busy, or she would see no one that early in the morning, or she did not know, or she was in a meeting, or ...

A woman's first born, specially in Helen's case, considering that her son was the child of a man that she had loved with all the love that she could amass, all the love that was concentrated, all the love that had never found satisfaction...

Jennifer did come to the door. A woman about her age, very beautiful, short blond hair, certainly colored, since Helen could see the dark root at the top of her head. She was wearing a blue silk robe and a high heel white sleeper shoes! Oh, how high class she looked even though she was not dressed properly, still in her robe and all! She looked rich, classy; but above all she had kind eyes! Helen breathed in all these in just a few seconds she had while Jennifer approaching the door. She wanted to keep this memory forever in her- the woman, who had become her son's mother and had raised him!

"Yes, Rosa tells me that you won't leave until seeing me! who are you? what do you want? Is this about a children Charity? But I've never met you!" She talked fast. She was suspicious. The woman, who was standing at the door, with one leg inside, looked so much like her son, Peter! Jennifer wanted that all these to go away. What she was afraid of for all these years had happened. She was certain, the intruder, who had come to her house without calling, was her son's biological mother!

Helen, bewildered, confused, not sure of herself was about to say a thing that she was not sure what it would be. Suddenly she heard a sound, a voice, so similar to the voice of Jacob, coming from stairs:

"Mom, what's going on?"

To Be Continued

JUDAS KISS- Seventeen- At Last ✍ ✖ ☎ ☔ ☗

Helen turned off the car again. Since the birth of her son, her first born, she had this extreme desire to see him, to know about him, to touch him, to know his name, to know about his life; now she was here after four years having the informations she needed to find him, and she was frightened, she shook so much so that she thought she was having a heart attack.

She was in front of the house he was raised, and she did not have the courage to ring the bell! She did not know how his parents would receive her. She did not know if he was home or not. "Hello, I'm the one that gave birth to your son!" She laughed at her own thought! Would they not ask her why now, after all these years? She needed the courage of the old times.

She thought for a minute about Jacob. She had not heard anything about him since she broke up with him after that doomed birthday party; however, deep inside her heart she knew that he was the only man she ever loved. But she loved the Jacob when they both were sixteen years old, or the Jacob of that New Years Eve's party of so many years past, not the Jacob that came to Chris's second birthday party. He had changed; as the world had changed all around her, as people had changed all over!!

She at last rang the bell! It was a very beautiful house. She was happy that her son was raised in a very good and wealthy family. She had done some investigation about these people. Everything that she discovered about them was positive. The man was in oil business, the woman did not work, yet belonged to so many charities, and raised money for poor children! What a wonderful thing to use your money and to fund raise for this beautiful cause! They were very conservative people.

She had to climb three steps to get to the door and to ring the bell. A woman, who seemed to be maid with white uniform on, opened the door. Helen took a glimpse of the inside through the half open door. She saw part of the wide, fancy stairs in the huge entry hall which had a bend to go to the second floor. Oh, how wide the stairs were, so wide!!

To Be Continued

JUDAS KISS- Seventeen- At Last ✍ ✖ ☎ ☔

One weekend, to be exact, Saturday morning, on a cool April morning, so nice, yet windy, just a month before her first son's twenty fifth birthday, Helen got dressed early in the morning. She wore a beautiful green dress, that it was one of her

boss's design and he had given it to her for her last birthday. The dress was the color of Spring, long sleeve, almost form fitted, the length of it just in the middle of her knee! She wore a multicolor scarf which its main color was green, around her neck; then she picked up a black leather shoes with very low hill and a black designer small purse. One things that she always spent good money on was her bags. She looked at herself in the mirror. She was still a beautiful woman. There were some streaks of gray hair amongst her blond hair, but they were barely noticeable. Her figure still turned heads. She did not want to be too dressed up, yet she did not want wear jeans and a shirt, her normal outfit for weekends! She thought that she had succeeded to look nice, yet modest. She wore her hair in a pony tail and then twisted it to a bun. She wore very little make up, almost unnoticeable! She looked at herself in the long mirror of her bathroom once more, and at last left the her apartment.

She drove her car, a new model BMW, that she had used the money from the little black bag, to buy it. There was very little money left there. But it did not worry her at all. Now she had a career, and she could live a normal life without depending on that blood money, like normal people!

Anonymously, before buying her car, she had put an envelope in the male box of poor Marks' house one late night, with $100,000 on it. No note or any hand written thing anywhere in the envelop except the money. On the envelop, she typed in, "Please don't search for the sender of this money! This is for Mark's family! It's nothing compare to him losing his life!"

She drove to Highland Park area. The memory of the days that she had lived with Roger in that area rushed back to her as an unwanted flood. In fact she passed Roger's house, the torture chamber that she had lived in at such a young age between sixteen and eighteen. She had not been in these area since the day that she opened the safe and ran. Memories of Mark rushed back to her like a nightmare. If the poor man had not helped her, she had never been able to escape from the paws of Roger. Perhaps he had used her, made her to do drugs, perhaps she had come with some disease! " Oh, poor Mark, you lost your life to save mine!" Tears gathered in her eyes. She almost wanted to stop, but she continued driving.

The house she was looking for, was not very far from this doomed one! "Am I paying for my miserable life because of Mark?" She questioned herself! This house that she was searching for was the house that her first born was raised. It was in the richest area of Dallas. It looked a beautiful house from outside. This was the house of the man and woman, who had adopted his first born, the son she had with Jacob. "How I've been able to hide this from Steve and even Jacob?" She murmured. " Did I have any right not to tell Jacob that he had a son with me?" She thought to herself.

She parked her car in the street, not exactly in front of the house but a little further down the street. She hesitated in the car for awhile! Should she or should she not? But when she thought of her son, whom she did not know anything about him, not even his name, she was not sure if what she was doing was the right thing! " Knock knock, I am your son's mother! I am here after almost twenty five years to destroy your life!" She thought to herself. "Does he know that he is adopted?"

She did not know anything about him; how he was raised, how he was educated, how nurturing his adopted parents were to him, how ...? She started her car to o back home; but again she thought hard and deep:

"If I don't do it now, I never will!!"

To Be Continued

JUDAS KISS- Seventeen- At Last ✍ ✖ ☎

But one thing Helen had not done yet. She knew where the parents of her first born lived; but she was not sure if her son was still at home, or out

somewhere in college, or perhaps even married, or lived on his own! She had not yet done anything about the informations she had craved for so many years; and now she had them. She carried the large envelope with all the adoption documents in her bag with her, everywhere she went, to work to supermarket, to dinner. She knew if one day she did go there, it would be spontaneously. She wished she knew her son's name, but she did not. Of course there were ways to find out about it, now that she had all the facts, but she did not know how to approach it, or perhaps was afraid to learn about them.

Four years had passed from her divorce and from having these information. She was frightened to show up at the door of the parents of her son's home and say, "I am your son's mother!" All her courage had used up to survive all these years, for all these dealing with men in her life, for raising her children, for unending quarrels, for hiding so many informations from Steve, for being terrified if by any chance she had come face to face with one of Roger's client, for the depth of love for Jacob she had, and for how the money and power had changed him, so much so that he wanted her only for the sake of having a mistress. She remembered that once Jacob told her that it was almost like a fad for all these powerful men, such as lawyers, oilmen, men with so much money, to have a nice family for a showcase, and to have other women at side. Steve did it, so did Jacob! Like her boss that was a straight man with wife and two children, and yet because of his profession, being in fashion industry, he had all of sudden had become homosexual. Of course she had nothing against these gay people. They were, in her opinion, were some of the nicest people ever! But now working in a place that most of the designers, people, who were on salary, men or women were homosexual, but people, who worked in the factory as an hourly basis were not! Again this was another trend which was catching up like a wild fire!

Now at age fifty, she yearned to see her first born. He was twenty four years old now; her last born, Caterina was in first grade. She had moved to the house, as it was in their divorce arrangement, so she could go to the same privet school that her sister and brother had gone. Elizabeth had finished her education; however against her parents' advice, she got married and now was expecting her first child. Steve and Nancy had two children, both boys. Chris had dropped from school, had moved out of the house, and moved in with Helen; but yet again left his mother's house. He was a confused young man, who was mixed up with some friends, who were influencing him in wrong ways. But he always returned. He always came back to his mother, Helen, for money; and then disappeared again!

When Helen had formerly worked, that work of so many years past, it was not only for escape of her doomed life, but also and most importantly was for the love of teaching! At that time, she used to think that without work, her life was too gloomy. Now she needed to work so her life would have some colors, so she would have some social life of her own, not of Steve's choosing, so she would have some uniformly bright life, if such thing ever existed!!

To Be Continued

JUDAS KISS- Seventeen- At Last ✍ ✖

In the interview, they asked Helen why she had not worked all these years? She just told the truth. She decided in her case, lie would not bring her a chance to find a job; therefore, she adhered to honesty. She made a very good impression with the supervisor, who was interviewing her. He gave her a tour of the company. She

would to become the designer's personal secretary, the man, who also owned the company. The man, who lived with his boyfriend. Helen would do more than secretarial job for him only a few months into her working. She would take care of his house, dogs, cats, parrots, ... when he was traveling either for business or pleasure, and always with his boyfriend!

It was Wednesday morning when she had the interview. It was a pleasant fall day. They asked her to go to work Monday. The other secretary was retiring, but she had promised to stay two extra weeks to mentor Helen and to help her to learn her new job. She also told Helen of the designer's demands of doing his personal things. Helen said: "I don't mind!"

When Steve heard about it, he began his complaining again, but this time Helen cut him off and said:

"Not anymore, Steve! We're not married anymore. I can do anything I want. And how do you except me to live without any income?" Steve never knew about her little, black bag!

"What about Caterina?"

"She'll be okay. Besides, Nancy had offered to baby sit. And if one day she can't do it, I take her to daycare. She'll learn social skills there!"

Nancy was pregnant with her first child. Helen looked with her fiery eyes at Steve and said:

"I am so grateful to Nancy. When she has her own baby, I'll send Caterina to daycare. If you want, take me to court. But no way I let you do to this child what you did to Elizabeth and Chris! Look how spoiled they have turned out!"

"If it's about money, I give you more!" He said while trying to contain his anger.

"Keep your money. I don't need it. I've been wanting to work all these years and I didn't because of you. But now you have no control over me!"

Even though they were not married anymore, they still fought. But this one, Helen decided, that she should win and she did.

Now that she was at last doing what she had always wanted to do, she felt sorry for herself. She was close to fifty years old. All her youth was wasted living with a domineering man! All her childhood was wasted living with her parents, who were sick. She had two choices now, and needed to make a decision, to feel sorry for herself or enjoy what she loved to do no matter of her age. She decided on the second option!!

To Be Continued