Odyssey... {}28- A Friend's Wedding

Driving to the church, Hana conjures up the conversation she had with her son. "Did he really mean I am beautiful?!" She thinks back to explore if she has heard those words before. Despondently she perceives, never. In fact, not only she has never heard those heavenly words, she remembers that Hamid always called her ugly woman. In the parking lot of the church, before getting out of the car, she looks at herself in the rear view mirror to measure once more the degree of her ugliness. Amazingly she like what she sees.

In a small room that Valery and Hana are occupying, there is a full length mirror and a dresser with a smaller mirror. There is also a closet for hanging clothes. Valery is excited and nervous. She should be. This is a greatest day of her life. Hana thinks she should not do any of her paranoid affliction in order not to ruin her friend's blissful moment. Nevertheless, she is not sure if she can act so skillfully that her friend will not suspect her mental bitterness. To avoid such thing, she must stay busy, get involved, and work. When Valery is ready with her help, she looks astonishingly beautiful. The wedding gown and the veil compliment her beautiful face with soft make up. She is wearing her hair up in a French twist with two strands hanging free over her ears. The drop pearl earrings are the only jewelry she is wearing. The high neck gown, covered with beaded lace makes her to look like a princess. The top part of the gown up to the chest area and sleeves are see through, beaded lace. The rest of the dress is lined with white, heavy satin. The dress is floor length without any train, the way Valery wanted for her small wedding. Hana stands there and looks at Valery for awhile. She is finally pleased with the job she has done on the gown and veil. Valery rains kisses upon Hana.

"Thank you, I love you. You've done a great job. Now I'm going to fix you up."

"First, don't mess up your make up and hair; and second what do you mean by fixing me up?" Hana, puzzled asks.

"I'm going to do you hair and make up."

"Oh, no, no, I don't wear make up."

"Come on Hana; it is my wedding. You must."

When Valery is done with Hana, none of them can believe what they see. Hana in her forest green, velvet, long gown looks startling. Her hair is braided in back with a bouquet of flower at the left side of her hair which praises her remarkable make up. They are supposed to stay in that room until everyone is seated and ceremony is about to begin. The only person who comes and goes as he wishes is John, Valery's son. One of Valery's sister takes care of him while the newly wed are in their honeymoon.

Hana begins shaking when she is called to leave the room and walk to the alter, where everyone impatiently awaits the bride in the company of her father to walk like a princess, and where all the eyes of standing people are fixed upon her. Today Valery is queen, like all brides are on the they of their wedding.

In the hallway, Hana sees Mario waiting for her. Her knee trembles by looking at this man, whom she had profound and hidden feeling for. He looks incredible in his black tuxedo, white shirt, white bow tie, and forest green, velvet cummerbund to match Hana's dress. In fact she made that cummerbund only by measurement from left over fabric of her dress. As they walk to enter the chapel, where all the guests are, Mario squeezes her arm.

"Oh, God, you're beautiful."

She perspires by a sudden shyness.

"By the way, I met your son. He is a very fine young man."

Standing across from each other, Hana searches in the crowd for her son and when she sees him, she sighs deeply.

After the ceremony, when everyone is gathered in the reception hall to have cake and punch, and take pictures with the newly weds, Hana feels to run away to the dressing room and change to her street clothes in order to avoid those inquisitive eyes, but can she? She notices that Mario is talking to Farhad and she wishes she could hear them. When the wedding is finally over, she changes to her normal clothes and before leaving, Mario gets hold of her. In fact, he has been waiting for an opportunity to have a moment with her alone.

"Hana, I want to see you again. Please don't say no."

Hana looks around to see if her son is gone which can not be hidden from Mario's eyes.

"Your son has already left. I want an answer."

"I don't know Mario. Don't put pressure on me. I am torn between what I want and what I shouldn't do."

"Why you shouldn't do what you want. It doesn't make any sense. We live only once, and that one time is very short."

"I don't want to upset my sons."

"They understand. They want your happiness."

Hana recalls her argument with Farhad and says:

"No, Mario, they don't. I've always been their mom."

"No one is going to take away that from them. You'll be their mom for ever; but you must have a life, too."

"Please, Mario, you're putting too much pressure on me."

"I'm sorry Hana. You're right. Can we just talk on the phone?"

"All right!"

To Be Continued

Odyssey... ~/~28- A Friend's Wedding

Farhad, at the same time, introspects that how much this little woman , his mother, who worked and did everything in a hurry all the times, yet had enough time to take care of him and his brother. He can not resist the rumbling of his heart anymore. While Hana is still in her dream world, he walks to her calmly and embraces this delicate woman. Their tears mix up and in the mist of that touching moment, Hana can not hear him say: "Mom, I'm sorry."

Valery tries the wedding gown and the veil in Hana's apartment for the last time. She rains Hana with warm kisses.

"I love it, I love it. I love you Hana." Her exciting scream brings Farhad to Hana's bedroom and for the first time he smiles at Valery.

"You look beautiful Valery. I am so happy for you."

The chains are broken and Farhad finally comes to accept his mother's friend. That night Valery tells Hana that Mario is the best man. She has kept that secret from her being afraid that Hana would refuse to be her mate of honor. It is only five days before the wedding and Hana's forest green, velvet dress is in its final process of finishing. Hana is hurt but understands her friend's secrecy. There is nothing can be done. She does not want to ruin Valery's wedding. So she is going to see Mario again. After that meaningful Saturday night at his house, she has promised herself not to get involved with any man or fall in love again. Now, not only she is going to walk down the isle arm and arm with him, she will also smell the sweet aroma of his cigar. She can not resist to ask a question which she wants to know the answer badly:

"Does Mario know that I am the mate of honor?"

"Of course!'

"Did you all plan this?" Hana looks straight in Valery's eyes.

"No, the truth is that Mario and Mick have been friends for a long time. In fact, I met Mick for the first time in Mario's home. I knew I was going to pick you and when Mick said he wanted Mario to be his best man, I though that would be a good idea to put you two together again."

Farhad finally accepts Valery's invitation which Makes Hana very happy. She is hopeful that Sam will go to the wedding, too, for he is supposed to be home for his time off before the wedding. But when he tells her on the phone that he can not make it and there is a couple of days delay in his coming home, Hana becomes suspicious that her son wants to be left alone and he does not care to attend the wedding.

The wedding day comes. Hana is not sure if her strong friendship with Valery will continue as it is now after Valery becomes a married woman. She has noticed that married couple normally seek friendship among other married friends. What has connected the two women up to today, has been their loneliness and similarities of their experiences with abusive men in their past lives. Being very depressed, she hates to see a probable end to their friendship. Perhaps this is the last thing she will do for Valery, to be in her wedding, and to act normal. She feels that there is no place in the world for single or widowed women like her. In her paranoid mind, she sees herself is being withered while no one left to ease her pain. She looks at herself in a mirror and sees an image of an old, languished woman, whose skin has lost all its moist, and it covers her body like a bumpy road. How did she get there, to that abyss of abandonment?

As a mate of honor, one of her job is to be at church earlier to help Valery for her preparation. It is going to be a small wedding. The only attendants are Mario and Hana and there are only forty of invited people are actually coming. While leaving home, Farhad asks her:

"Why aren't you dressed, mom?"

"I am going to dress at the church. I hate to be in that dress for so long!"

"But it's so beautiful, mom."

"I know, sweet hear, but it isn't comfortable; and besides I must help Valery to get dressed and I don't know what else I need to do before the ceremony begins."

"Are you going to fix your hair?"

She looks surprisingly at her son.

"You've never asked me these kind of questions before. I don't think I'll do anything with my hair."

"Why not? I've never seen you to fix up your hair or do make up!"

"I know, I've never had the occasion."

"Well, today is your chance to be beautiful."

She suddenly remembers her withered reflection in the mirror earlier.

"Do I look that bad?"

"Oh, God, no mom. You're beautiful. It's just most women wear make up and take care of themselves, but you don't."

Hana hugs her beloved son affectionately and says:

"I must go now. I see you at the church."

"What time do you want me there?"

"Well the ceremony begins at two o'clock. What about one thirty!"

To Be Continued

Odyssey... ~~28- A Friend's Wedding

As hesitant as Hana is to except Valery's offer to be her mate of honor, for she can not see herself walking down the isle where all the inquisitive eyes staring at her and perhaps talk amongst themselves that who is this foreign women that Valery has chosen instead of one of her sisters, she can not possibly say no to her friend since she learns in American custom of wedding that position is only offered to the closest person to the bride. Hana knows of Valery's sisters and while most brides choose their one of their sisters for that position, Valery has chosen her. She is grateful, frightened, and rapturous.

~{~

A deadly silence fills the ambiance that dark Sunday night. Mother and son, each in their own ways, avoid each other. In their quite times, living under one roof, and being so far away seems very unreal to both of them. While Farhad is irritated for his peace being disrupted because of Valery's wedding, Hana kindly and secretly takes care of him by first avoiding him and second preparing the food he likes. However, they do not eat together. Hana usually eats left overs from the night before as soon she comes home from work or college. Then he cooks a fresh meal for her son. In their solitude and avoidance, Farhad every night watches televising in the living room, while Hana, in her bedroom, works on Valery's gown. Sometimes Valery calls her and wants her to go shopping with her. If that is the case, Hana without directly talking to Farhad, repeats to Valery her reason for going out.

Hana finds a card one evening in the kitchen when she comes home. She looks at the card, recognizes Farhad's hand writing, examines it, and reads her son's words to her on the envelope, "Mom". While trembling of a doubtful uncertainty, she is more hopeful that the content of the card is words of making up than continuation of breakage. Ironically even the feeling of optimism does not help her twitching. She sits on the floor of the kitchen, looking at the envelop, wondering what the content of the envelop might be. An unexpected wave of nostalgia haunts her and she realizes how much she has missed everything, everybody, her home land, her sisters, and the only brother she has left, and above all her sons. When finally she opens the card, she breaks into a cry.

"Mom, please don't eat dinner. I'm taking you out. Love, Farhad"

It is a simple card with no sophisticated words on it, yet it says a lot, it shows plenty, and it touches her to an extent of feeling guilty for ignoring her son for the last two weeks. Suddenly she recalls her grandpa's words and once more she believes in that consecrated man's wisdom. However that blissful reminiscence of her grandfather reminds her that if she had acted upon grandpa's profound discernment about life, she did not have to live a miserable life for doing the right thing. A delusion overshadows this ecstasy and she suffers for her share of causing their wretched lives. From the beginning f her marriage to Hamid, she listened, obeyed, bought his bluffs, and allowed him to do what he did. At last, she comes to realization where she went wrong. By doing nothing, she had thought her right doing would overwhelm Hamid's wrong doing. Grandpa never told her about the psychopaths.

When that evening Farhad comes home with one stem of yellow rose, her favorite color, mother and son, like two strangers, look at each other. None of them volunteers to speak first. She looks at this handsome young man and tries to remember him as a baby; but what comes to her mind is her busy life of finishing school and working at the same time. However she can recall the times her mother rained his soft, small body with baby powder after bathing him. How much she loved the smell of that baby powder on her son's pink skin!

To Be Continued

Odyssey... 28- A Friend's Wedding

Hana is overwhelmingly blissful to hear Sam is coming home soon. He is about to finish his advanced training and before he is sent to his unit, which is unknown at this time to Hana, he can spend ten days with his family. The field he has chosen is infantry. As a privet first class, he needs to serve for a year or two before becoming the second lieutenant. For the first time, when Hana speaks to him on the phone, she feels he is happy. She thinks as disappointed as she was when he chose to join the army, after all it was not a bad decision. If that choice makes him happy, it is good enough for Hana.

Hana is extra busy with another joyous task these days. A week later after her argument with Farhad, Valery breaks and unexpected news:

"I'm getting married."

Hana is astounded. How can it be? How secretive! Valery apologizes her friend for hiding this new man in her life. She says:

"I was tired of people judging me for not being able to hold on a relationship. I met Mick three years ago and we dated for awhile. Then he had to move to Washington for a position that paid well. I was very disappointed. He was the first man that didn't want to use me. He continued calling me and came to Dallas to see me every few months; but I acted very aloof towards him. I was hurt and felt rejected. He offered repeatedly that I move to DC to be with him and I refused. When one day he called me, about six months ago, and said he was in Dallas because he could not stand to be far from me, I couldn't believe it. Luckily the company he works for has opened a branch in Dallas, and he asked for transferring and they agreed. The same day he came to my home and asked me to marry him." Valery stops at this point while Hana can see a glow in her eyes.

"Then what happened?"

"You can imagine how scared I was first; but the more I saw him the more I knew he was the one for me. I said yes to him three weeks ago. We don't want to wait a long time. We are getting married the first week of November."

Valery is very pleased when Hana offers to sew her wedding gown. As the three weeks is not much time for taking care of all the chores for a wedding, Hana begins by making a pattern for the style she designs for Valery. Every afternoon or evening when she comes home from work or college, she works on this pleasant task, making a wedding gown for her only friend. She refuses any money from Valery either for the material or the work.

"This is my gift to you."

Somehow Hana feels that Valery is like her sister or even her daughter and she is doing all these for her own blood. In return, Valery includes Hana in every aspect of the preparation as though she is her older sister or even her mother. After all, she has lost her mother many years earlier, and does not have a very good relationship with her sister. Hana find Mick, Valery's fiancee a right man for her. When Valery asks her opinion about him, she says:

"He is very gentle. He loves your son, John. You two are perfect for each other.

To Be Continued