Odyssey... {~} 22- Fleeing to West

Torn between doing what uncle Nabi asked her and staying a loyal wife, or mother to Hamid, she decide to put the house in the market. "I think about Hamid later." Nonetheless, she had to tell her sisters and brother about her plan since they knew about the ownership of the house. Hana begged them not to tell Hamid about it. The house was sold in less than two months with a price more than ten times higher what her father had paid for originally. Of course considering the outrageous inflation, the increased value of the house was equal to the accretion in cost of living. But that was not how it looked to Hasan, Sara's husband. He, who had never liked Hana, being a male chauvinist, and could not see a woman more educated and successful than him, and felt Hana was partially responsible for his wife's dead baby and her disease, which these days was much better and she had seldom attacks; was very angry since he had found out that the house was turned to Hana. He had had a big fight with his wife, Sara, about it. At the time, Sara had defended the matter genuinely and had tried to reason with her husband that Hana had paid the mortgage and she deserved to have it; but he had never accepted his wife's reasoning. When he had learned about it, he did not speak to his wife for six months. He had been outrageously angry with Sara for turning her share to her older sister without telling him. Now it was his turn for revenge. He could avenge his sister-in-law by telling Hamid about the house and smuggling.

They were staying at grandparents since the house and everything in it was sold. When Hamid questioned her why selling everything in the house, Hana simply said that they were going to start a business in a city by the Caspian Sea, and uncle Nabi was helping her to come up with ideas. For now, she said, grandparents did not mind them staying there. A week before the appointed time to flee, as uncle Nabi had set it up with the smuggler, Hamid learned everything from Hasan's mouth. When he confronted Hana, in the state of shock, she knew instinctively that it was her vindictive brother- in- law, who had betrayed her. After all, she did not like Hasan, either. Hana did not know what to say to Hamid; however, she took control of her irrational behavior and simply said:

"I wanted to surprise you."

Whether Hamid believed her or not, she would never know. He was overwhelmingly rapturous by the fact that they were leaving the country. Hana had to secretly pay more money to the smuggler for Hamid's share; and that was how four of them left Iran. Uncle Nabi was so hurt that in the last minute Hana had decided to take Hamid with her that he never spoke to her or said goodbye to her. Hana's explanation did not move him. He said she should have talked to him about Hasan's betraying her, (he did not like Hasan either) and he had Hamid arrested for his collection of gun that he had accumulated during revolution. Uncle Nabi died six years later of pneumonia.

They all immigrated while knowing they would face hardship, waiting, and lack of funds. The danger of smuggling was humongous; nevertheless, Hana's two sons, eleven and seven, found the journey amusing. It took ten days from Tehran to Istanbul and after that it took a whole year to get to America. What Hana learned throughout that journey was the realization that the world, the earth, and the nature might look unfamiliar in different countries; however, for her and for many others that their fortunes had been robbed, they were the same.

She had nothing left in the country she was born in, a country that had taken her father, mother, brother, job, and dignity. Where one sister was not allowed to see her, and the other was involved in her own life and some political activities which she would not stop even though she knew what happened to her older sister, and the only brother she had was busy with his life and family and was trying to use uncle Nabi as a role model to make money. She was homeless, without family, was blamed for mother's death by everyone and the Sara's still born baby and her unpredictable attacks; Behroz, her favorite uncle and best friend, was getting more depressed by the day and rarely even left his room and did not want to begin the friendship part of their relationship; and uncle Nabi's attitude was that it was his way always. Hana was pushed aside like the stubborn clouds dissipating by a strong wind.

~

In "THE RAIN STOPS IN TEXAS", the author of this book writes about the experience of her own smuggling from Iran. The book has been published in 1997 by Eakin Press. It is available in Amazon. com and by ordering it from book stores.

To Be Continued

Odyssey... {} 22- Fleeing to West

Tehran-

Outside doors everything was impalpable, and inside home, things were illusory. People were divided in their differences and beliefs. The majority went along with the new regime and gradually got used to the new situation; while some others took advantage of condition of disarray began cooperating to benefit themselves either by making big money or getting high paying position. People on their own ( I believe) establish different groups. there were many names were heard, Basij, Pasdaran, regular military, Hezbollah, and so many more. Most of uneducated, radical, and fanatically religious people believed in the new regime, and honestly changed; while many other groups preferred still the Shah's regime over this one; however they did not dare to take any action and kept their opinion for themselves. Nevertheless, some fought not only the new comers, they also organized anti- regime organization to overthrow those unlawful successors. Should it had been a few years earlier, Hana most definitely would be among the last group, fight the new comers. But the disastrous death of her mother, the turmoil among family members and most of all her sons' well being stopped her. Trying not to break down by all the monstrous chaos within her, in her home, and in the country, she discharged her uproarious emotions every Friday when she visited her parents' graves. There, she was free to cry, scream and do what ever she pleased. Nobody paid attention to her since the cemetery was a place for emptying one's sorrow and agitation. She always felt better when she returned home from the graveyard.

Those days many people who could not endure the new circumstances, chose to smuggle out of the country, for it was impossible to leave legally. Now the country they were born in was pushing them out. The excitement, adventure, and stories of smuggling people intrigued Hana while she knew her service as a teacher was not wanted anymore and all her education, which had been gained by her hard work and sacrifice, were gone down the drain. That thought occupied her mind and she went to bed and woke up with it. The more she thought, the more she knew that escape was her only chance. Even though she was told many of smuggling people had not made it, or had been captured, or even robbed; she still felt living in danger with no hope was worse than fleeing in danger with hope. Being tired of responsibilities and financial problems, since mother's salary was gone with her death, she did not think they could smuggle. She needed money, a lot of it for smuggling. Besides what would she do with Hamid, the sick, immoral man she was bound to live with? Nevertheless, that thought became part of her existence and she began investigating about it. The best person she could start with was uncle Nabi. It seemed to her that her uncle knew everything; and she was right. When she approached him, she learned another secret about her uncle. He had sent three of her children to England right before the revolution; but his oldest son was still in Iran. Hana surprisingly discovered that her cousin, uncle Nabi's oldest son, was about to smuggle out of the country. So she had chosen the right person for information. Uncle Nabi thought that her idea was brilliant; and he told her that he could not imagine parents wanted to raise children in Iran anymore. When she told him that she did not have any money, he simply said:

"Sell the house and everything you have. The house is in your name, isn't it?"

Hana had never thought about the house and she wondered how he knew that her mother and siblings had turned the title of the house to her. But Nabi knew everything.

"What are you going to do with Hamid?" Uncle Nabi asked sarcastically.

Hana, who had not seriously thought about it before, said:

"I don't know. I guess he goes with us."

"I'm so surprised that you're still loyal to this evil man!" He said.

"What can I do? He's my husband, the father of my children."

"No, he is your enemy. All he does and has done is using all of us. Just leave him and go. Here in your own country with all your family around you, he had tortured you for the last thirteen years. Now you want to pay his way so he can go to a free country to torture, abuse, and use you more! I don't believe you."

Again, Hana was shocked to know that her Uncle knew so much about her personal life; but she knew that he was right; however the thought of leaving Hamid without telling him seemed unthinkable.

"How can I sell the house without telling him why? He's going to find out the house is mine!"

"No, if you don't tell him, he won't know. The best solution is to tell him that Boby, Sara, and Mina want their share and since you don't have money to buy them out, you have no choice but selling the house. Meanwhile I find a smuggler and when the house is sold, one day you and the kids will vanish; and he'll never find out where you are. I even help you financially."

Hana knew of her uncle's deep hatred for Hamid. In fact, he had been the only one in the family that never bought Hamid's obscene bluffs.

To Be Continued

Odyssey...~~22- Fleeing to West

...a man about fifty approaches her.

"You're so quiet. Valery told me you're from Iran."

"Yes, I am." Hana says and then immediately adds: " But I am a US Citizen now."

Mario smile and says:

"Can I get you a drink?"

She blushes and says: "I don't drink."

"Why is that? Are you a Muslim?"

She thinks for a few seconds and then says: "I was born Muslim."

"Means you don't believe in that fate anymore!"

"I never believe in any religion." She begins feeling a little more relaxed.

"I take a glass of white wine."

Mario disappears and then returns with a paper cup of white wine. He is drinking the same, himself. Hana has noticed earlier that Valery was serving only beer and white wine from a box.

"Thank you, I didn't want you think I..." She pauses and does not know what to say.

Mario shakes his head.

"I understand. I was in Iran in 1976 for almost a year. I loved it there."

Hana gets all excited that they have something to talk about besides her.

"Really! What were you doing there?"

"I worked for an oil company.

She remembers the corruption of the Shah's foreign policy that cost him his throne.

"Do you have a degree in petroleum?" She shyly, yet sarcastically asks.

Mario, who senses her intelligence and what she is getting at, decide to be honest with this woman and says:

"No, I have a major in business and minor in philosophy. Strange, isn't it?" He is trying to disarm Hana in his own way, by being honest.

But that is all Hana needs to know. She thinks while many Iranians with petroleum degree could not get a job in oil fields, The Shah hired Westerners to do the work that his own people could do. That realization pinched her heart with pain and she recalls how her political idea once had cost her greatly. To escape her fervid impetuosity which is about to return to her after so long, she has two choices, either to leave or to change the subject. The first choice seems more conducive. When Mario sees she is about to leave, he says:

"It is too soon to leave, it is only nine thirty."

"I am sorry, I must go. I am not used to staying out late. My sons may worry for me."

"How old are your sons?"

Hana picks up her purse and hurriedly says:

"Twenty two and eighteen."

Hana can not even find Valery to say good bye to her. As she leaves, Mario follows her outside to her car while she hastily looks for the key in her purse. He puts his hand on her shoulder.

"I am not going to bite you. Why are you running away?"

Hana shivers by his touch and while opening the door of her car, she says:

"I must go. Please leave me alone."

"Valery told me about the unfortunate accident of your husband!"

She remembers that she has told Valery about Hamid's death, but she also recalls that she has not spoken of her miserable life to Valery.

"You know my wife died two years ago of cancer." He tries to create an empathic ambiance, but Hana starts the car and disappears like a lightning.

That night in bed, she thinks about Mario while I try to persuade her that it s perfectly all right to have a male friend and not to fall in love. She wonders who Mario was and how Valery knows him.

When she returns from party at ten, her sons are watching television; and Farhad's girlfriend, Karen, is also there. Her sons, whereas her, are very much accustomed to American culture; and what has been confusing and strange to her in Valery's home, is a normal way of living for her sons. While she thinks that back home, no son would dare to bring a girl friend home, she knows that she can not possibly stops her sons of doing so. When her sons ask her about party, she bluntly, says:

"It was okay, but not for me."

"Did you have a good time? Why wasn't for you?" Farhad asks her.

She thinks for a second. She is not sure if she had a good time or not. She does not know how to answer her son about "not for me" in front of Karen.

"I don't know."

Farhad turns to Karen: "This is the first time my mom went to a party in America alone!"

Karen looks at Hana surprised: "How come?"

Hana does not know how to answer. She wishes that they leave her alone.

"How come you came back so early?" Sam asks his mother.

"I don't know. I thought you may be worried for me."

Both her sons begin laughing while Hana hastily goes to her room and close the door.

Tehran-

To Be Continued

Odyssey...22- Fleeing to West

Dallas-

For Hana time after Hamid's death is withering and useless, but for me is like a fresh flower with delicious aroma and delightful beauty . I find it unacceptable to mourn and feel sorry; she finds grieving an inseparable part of her existence. Our conflicts cause a clashing brawl between us. Both of our minds live in past; however, for her is only to torture herself and for me is to use those memories to be aware of present. She is beyond dispute and to reach her takes a great effort which I am tired of it. Now in freedom of all chains and ties, she still watches her back, checks her car thoroughly, as she did in fear of Hamid's vandalism, and refuses to make friends or go out. And here I am, attached to her, a victim. who wants fairness and can not get it only because we are connected. She thinks I am part of her, or she is my creator; nevertheless, I wish the situation has been the other way around.

After a long discussion, she finally agrees to take the English course in writing she has always wanted. For me this is the first positive step. Just to get her out of home besides her job has been a great challenge for me. Very soon, when she is accepted as a smart student, as she had always been, the missing smile returns to her face. As usual she takes college seriously; and my argument to make her understand that her going to college must be fun, too, is useless.

Now between work in day time and college in the evening, Hana does not have much time for hallucination. She studies so hard as though she is working for PhD. Going to college gives her an unusual sense as though she is born again. Lila's argument to live a different kind of life in this new birth makes her to think for the first time, and she accepts the invitation of one of her fellow students to go to her birthday part on Saturday evening.

Being a punctual person, Hana parks her car a couple of blocks away from Valery's home since she gets there ten minutes before eight. One minute before eight, the appointed time, she drives her car and parks in front of Valery's apartment, but she does not see any other car. Confused, yet excited, she rings the bell and an unfamiliar young woman opens the door. Hana introduced herself and handed the woman the gift she has brought. She goes inside to find out she is the first guest; and Valery, herself, is not ready yet. Ashamed and upset, she sits on a chair as though she is there to discuss some important issue. Valery's guests gradually show off around nine. Even though most of them treat her with kindness, she feels so out of place that in total disorientation she thinks about leaving. However the thought of saying goodbye and coming with an excuse stops her for awhile. She is bewildered by this strange culture she has lived in for the last ten years and never knew it this way. Mostly unmarried men and women are together as couples. They talk, laugh, drink, and hug. Valery is with her new boyfriend while her old boyfriend is also there with his new girlfriend. It is a strange atmosphere for Hana and when finally she decides to leave, a man about fifty approaches her.

To Be Continued