On the Labor Day's picnic which was held at White Rock Lake, Anna participated for the first time, even though she was very hesitant to go first. It was Mary, who convinced her to go. She wondered around, looking at the bike riders, children with their parents, and lovers. It seemed to her that the entire population of Dallas was there that day. As she walked on the sand, remembering Caspian Sea, where her parents had a villa, and where her brother and she had played and walked, and also Potomac River, where Steve and she had browsed so many times, she heard someone was calling her. She stopped and turned around to see who was calling her. It was Dr. Mark who was running after her. "Oh, God, You walk too fast." He said.
Anna frowned and said in her speaking mine: "I am not walking fast. You are too fat." However she ignored him and continued walking. He caught up with her and tried to walk in her pace. She did not know what is the proper way to get rid of a man like him, who worked the same shift and practically was her boss. She decided to just ignore him; nonetheless, his walking next to him was so irritating to her that she was about to explode.
"What do you want from me? I prefer to walk alone." She finally said in a rude manner.
Suddenly he held her hand and brought her to a sudden halt to face her. "I like you. I want to go out with you."
Anna pulled her hand out of his. Her eyes were fiery, her face was red, and she did not know how to control her anger.
"I've told you many times that I'm not interested. If you don't leave me alone, I..." She could not finish her sentence. Anger had made her numb. He tried again to hold her hand, but she, who had lost her posture and temper, suddenly raised her hand and slapped him in face and then pushed him with both hands with all the energy that she could gather, and then started running back to where all other hospital employees were. By the time she got there, her anger was uncontrollable. She did not recall herself like this ever. Everyone looked at her; and they all knew by just looking at her that something was wrong. Mary began talking to her, but Anna who did not hear anything of her friend's words kept saying: "I'm going home." And she did left.
Very soon every body in the hospital knew about that incident. Many of them had seen Anna slapping Dr. Mark. He began this rumor that she was the one who approached him; but no one believed him. She tried to change her shift, but that was not possible until the next time that would be time for shift changing. She had the worse days of her life working with him in a same shift. She had to talk to him, act professional, and work with him. She had no way of avoiding him. After consulting with Mary, she decided to go to the Personnel's supervisor and discuss her discomfort working with Mark. It seemed like an investigation and she had no choice but to tell the supervisor the whole story. These kinds of stories were not new to Adam, the supervisor, for he had heard them from other young women in hospital. However because they were short in Pediatrician, and Dr. Mark was a good doctor with a bad personality, and above all they did not want a bad name for the hospital with news flashing every where, the hospital had not done anything about it.
"You just had to learn not to mix you personal problem with your work." Adam said.
"But this is not a personal problem. It is affecting everybody. Why don't you change my shift.?" Anna dared to say.
"We can't do that. This shift can not be changed till the end of the year and you know it."
Anna knew he was right so she learned to work with that circumstance. Even though she hated to leave that hospital, she decided to look for another job. But being busy all the time and working the afternoon shift that according to everyone was the worse shift, and the finishing touches she needed to do to her final writing to graduate, did not give her much of chance to look for another job. Mark was aware of her meeting with Adam; and since nothing had come from that complaint, he found the courage to make improper comments to her even more than before.
One Friday night, only a week before Christmas, when a day of hard work was almost over for her, she prepared all the paper work for the next shift and then grabbed her coat and purse. As always she used the employee's elevator to go to the parking garage, the basement, where her car was parked. It was almost twelve midnight. As she was staring at the red numbers and letters changing overhead of the elevator's door, she remembered the little two years black boy, who had died of leukemia that day. A knot formed in her throat and she questioned God's fairness and justice. After all these year being a nurse, she had not learned, like others, not to let her career affect her personal life. She recalled the boy's parents and his older sister, four years old. They all had cried uncontrollably.
The letter B lightened overhead and the elevator stopped; the door opened, and she walked out. A cold air struck her. She put her coat on. Her blue, now old BMW was parked on Row C, facing the concrete wall. That was her usual parking spot, if it was not taken. The lights were dim and the air was cold. As she walked towards the row C, shifting her heavy purse from one shoulder to the other, she conjured up that working with Dr. Mark that day was for some odd reason had been different. He had been very polite that day. She wondered if he finally had given up intimidating her.
Suddenly she had this feeling that someone was following her. She could not hear any footstep, but she was certain that someone else, besides her, was there, in that empty parking garage. She walked faster. Her heart palpitated. Something was about to happen. Her intuition was never wrong. Next to her car, she looked into her big bag for her car key. As her hand touched the key in the bottom of her purse, she felt a hand on her shoulder. Trembling, she turned to look who it was. Mark with a devilish smile on his face was standing there. She tried to pretend that she was not afraid of him; nevertheless, her shaking knees and body showed otherwise. "What do you want?" Her unsteady voice showed her insecurity.
He did not say anything; instead, he hugged her forcefully and began kissing her like a mad man. She fought back with all the strengths she could gather in that frenzied moment. Her bag fell on the ground. She was desperately trying to run away, but he was too strong for her. He pushed her to the car, holding both her hands, kissing her more. In a despondent and hopeless attempt, she found a little energy to scream for help. "Help, ...help,..."
Her voice echoed in the empty parking garage: "Help,...help,..."
An employee, a man who worked in the utility department of the hospital, just walked out of the elevator, heard her. He started running towards Anna's car, where he could barely see her and Mark. In a few minutes, that seemed like eternity to Anna, he got there and the two man began a punching fist fight, while Anna screaming and running.
She did not remember what happened next. She was back in the hospital. They did not let her to go home that night and kept her for observation. She had bruises in her face When Mark knew that a man was coming to her rescue; and perhaps everything was over for him. Some one had called the police. She had a witness this time. She was physically assaulted but saved from being raped.
In the morning they told her that Dr. Mark was fired and if she wanted to press charges against him. There was still a police man there. Her face was truly banged up by Mark's fist. Someone had called Mary to come since they knew Anna and Mary were friends. Consulting with Mary, and also Mr. Adam, the supervisor, and even the policeman, she decided not to press charges. The hospital did not want to be in the front pages of the newspapers. Besides it would take too much of her instead of adding anything to her life. They recommended her to change her apartment and to get an unlisted phone number for security. They and she did not want Mark to find out where she lived.
She wanted to put an end to this long, ongoing distress and anguish. There was no need to dignify the degenerate man. He would probably enjoy the courtroom with all the embarrassment. To ignore a man like him was the best action she could take. Mr. Adam promised her that he would not give a good rating to Mark if another employer wanted to hire him. That was satisfactory to her weather Adam would keep his world or not. In the final analysis, Anna decided that he was not worthy at all for anyone to even consider taking him to court. Silence and ignorance were her best Cure.
To Be Continued
Showing posts with label Unearthly Sight. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Unearthly Sight. Show all posts
Friday, July 9, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Twenty Nine, Unearthly Sight
If I only had a wing,
I could fly out from this unearthly sight.
If I knew how to sing,
I could enchant a song on the height.
If I only was a king,
I could stop all despicable raving.
If I only had the God's ring,
I could bring green and breeze into spring.
*
But all I knew was wondering.
*
All Anna's attempt to unite with Stacy faced a brick wall. She would not write her back. Anna knew that they did not have what others had for friendship anymore. However, somehow writing to Stacy had become like an addiction. She was positive that Stacy was getting all her letters because none of them returned to her. Somehow she felt obligated to let Stacy know her life and her faithfulness to Steve after five years. But the lack of elements that had constituted their friendship before, now were so powerful that internally she knew that Stacy was right of not writing back to her. However Stacy was the last treads that connected her to Steve because now she was not dreaming or thinking about her dead husband as much as she did before. She was not aware of those absent factors that secretly admitted the inappropriate standards of those lost elements. She never wrote in her letters to Stacy that in last five years, on the anniversary of Steve's death, she had gone to Washington and had visited the cemetery to see him and talk to him and then to bring some of the dirt back to Dallas until the year after. Never on those visits she had seen any of Steve's family there.
Her soul was caught in disdain futilely. Horror and boredom did not weight on her anymore. The monotonous moments of life was too dim to dream about. It was the same when it came to the enlightenment and manifestation of any spirituality which came rarely to her.
After five year, she still wondered who killed Steve and why! That was a question, she knew, she would never know the answer. But even in that unclear uncertainly, she wondered if his plan of leaving CIA, which almost everyone of his colleagues knew about it, had something to do with that tragedy. She also marveled had she not gone through the shock, had she had a normal pregnancy and had a child now, what that would be like! These were the questions she would perhaps never know the answers.
Nonetheless, the short memory of her short marriage, the dynamic of it, helped her to cope and accept the reality as it was not as she wanted to be. She had had many opportunities to date, especially the men, mostly doctors, from her work. But she had lost all it needed for having any desire for the opposite sex, so she thought. Regardless, she was friendly with everyone; and slowly and rarely socialized on special occasions parties hospital held for employees like Christmas, Thanksgiving, Fourth of July, or Labor Day's picnic. Mary, her old friend, Anna called her "my American mother", told her that people called her strange woman; but even Mary did not know her true, tragic story. At this point she was almost finished her schooling and soon she would be a nurse practitioner. Her life was divided between work and school. She had become the president of the children charities she was supporting; therefore that was another thing she spent her time on. She had gone to Iran once, two year ago, on her vacation and spent three weeks there; and her parents had come to see her the first year that she was in Dallas.
This middle aged doctor, short and overweight, who worked often with her, however, was very persistent in pursuing a relationship with her. To Anna, he appeared to be a man of no will power but great determination, trifling energy of opinion and absurd obstinacy, a man of much confidence in himself and confined and restricted intellectuality. Nevertheless, his character had another side to it that it was hidden from others and himself, but not from Anna. His ill-fated stubbornness, his cold and insensible eyes and his indifference in general towards the his patients, the lack of his understanding of himself and others around him, his endless scaring away the people who were around him with a constant eagerness to influence them to his wishes and commands, his spiteful and unfeeling glimpse that did not fool anyone and pierced nowhere, and some disgusting and disguising things that he had done and everyone was aware of them and embarrassed by them, but did talk about them. Anna never had any desire to know about him or learn about all the nasty things he had done; however, when one day she told Mary about how uncomfortable she felt around him and how he had made uncouth remarks to her, Mary warned her to be careful.
"You know his wife left him because she found out that he had many affairs with nurses. They had a nasty divorce. She got the house, the kids, and I don't how much, but a big portion of his income and salary."
Anna nodded her head. "Don't worry. He can't intimidate me. If he insist, I'll complain."
"Anna, it is not my business, but you're a young woman. You need to date and maybe one day get married. I know it is hard for you to get over the death of your husband, but life must go on. I am sure if the spirits could talk, Steve would want you to."
Anna stared at her angrily, showing she had no desire to continue the conversation. Mary and a few more were the only ones that knew about Steve. But Anna never told anyone the truth about Steve's death. However Mary was the only one that could give her some motherly advice, since she did not have her parents there.
"Life is too short, Anna. Did your husband know that he would die of cancer at such young age? You see what I mean? Things happen for reasons that we don't know and we have no control..."
Anna could not stand another word of her friend. Even though she knew Mary's intention for intruding was benevolent, she did not want to hear the lies she had told Mary about the death of Steve.
"Mary, please stop. I don't want to continue this conversation. I have no feelings for men. I am happy the way I am. Please don't ever talk to me about this matter again."
To Be Continued
I could fly out from this unearthly sight.
If I knew how to sing,
I could enchant a song on the height.
If I only was a king,
I could stop all despicable raving.
If I only had the God's ring,
I could bring green and breeze into spring.
*
But all I knew was wondering.
*
All Anna's attempt to unite with Stacy faced a brick wall. She would not write her back. Anna knew that they did not have what others had for friendship anymore. However, somehow writing to Stacy had become like an addiction. She was positive that Stacy was getting all her letters because none of them returned to her. Somehow she felt obligated to let Stacy know her life and her faithfulness to Steve after five years. But the lack of elements that had constituted their friendship before, now were so powerful that internally she knew that Stacy was right of not writing back to her. However Stacy was the last treads that connected her to Steve because now she was not dreaming or thinking about her dead husband as much as she did before. She was not aware of those absent factors that secretly admitted the inappropriate standards of those lost elements. She never wrote in her letters to Stacy that in last five years, on the anniversary of Steve's death, she had gone to Washington and had visited the cemetery to see him and talk to him and then to bring some of the dirt back to Dallas until the year after. Never on those visits she had seen any of Steve's family there.
Her soul was caught in disdain futilely. Horror and boredom did not weight on her anymore. The monotonous moments of life was too dim to dream about. It was the same when it came to the enlightenment and manifestation of any spirituality which came rarely to her.
After five year, she still wondered who killed Steve and why! That was a question, she knew, she would never know the answer. But even in that unclear uncertainly, she wondered if his plan of leaving CIA, which almost everyone of his colleagues knew about it, had something to do with that tragedy. She also marveled had she not gone through the shock, had she had a normal pregnancy and had a child now, what that would be like! These were the questions she would perhaps never know the answers.
Nonetheless, the short memory of her short marriage, the dynamic of it, helped her to cope and accept the reality as it was not as she wanted to be. She had had many opportunities to date, especially the men, mostly doctors, from her work. But she had lost all it needed for having any desire for the opposite sex, so she thought. Regardless, she was friendly with everyone; and slowly and rarely socialized on special occasions parties hospital held for employees like Christmas, Thanksgiving, Fourth of July, or Labor Day's picnic. Mary, her old friend, Anna called her "my American mother", told her that people called her strange woman; but even Mary did not know her true, tragic story. At this point she was almost finished her schooling and soon she would be a nurse practitioner. Her life was divided between work and school. She had become the president of the children charities she was supporting; therefore that was another thing she spent her time on. She had gone to Iran once, two year ago, on her vacation and spent three weeks there; and her parents had come to see her the first year that she was in Dallas.
This middle aged doctor, short and overweight, who worked often with her, however, was very persistent in pursuing a relationship with her. To Anna, he appeared to be a man of no will power but great determination, trifling energy of opinion and absurd obstinacy, a man of much confidence in himself and confined and restricted intellectuality. Nevertheless, his character had another side to it that it was hidden from others and himself, but not from Anna. His ill-fated stubbornness, his cold and insensible eyes and his indifference in general towards the his patients, the lack of his understanding of himself and others around him, his endless scaring away the people who were around him with a constant eagerness to influence them to his wishes and commands, his spiteful and unfeeling glimpse that did not fool anyone and pierced nowhere, and some disgusting and disguising things that he had done and everyone was aware of them and embarrassed by them, but did talk about them. Anna never had any desire to know about him or learn about all the nasty things he had done; however, when one day she told Mary about how uncomfortable she felt around him and how he had made uncouth remarks to her, Mary warned her to be careful.
"You know his wife left him because she found out that he had many affairs with nurses. They had a nasty divorce. She got the house, the kids, and I don't how much, but a big portion of his income and salary."
Anna nodded her head. "Don't worry. He can't intimidate me. If he insist, I'll complain."
"Anna, it is not my business, but you're a young woman. You need to date and maybe one day get married. I know it is hard for you to get over the death of your husband, but life must go on. I am sure if the spirits could talk, Steve would want you to."
Anna stared at her angrily, showing she had no desire to continue the conversation. Mary and a few more were the only ones that knew about Steve. But Anna never told anyone the truth about Steve's death. However Mary was the only one that could give her some motherly advice, since she did not have her parents there.
"Life is too short, Anna. Did your husband know that he would die of cancer at such young age? You see what I mean? Things happen for reasons that we don't know and we have no control..."
Anna could not stand another word of her friend. Even though she knew Mary's intention for intruding was benevolent, she did not want to hear the lies she had told Mary about the death of Steve.
"Mary, please stop. I don't want to continue this conversation. I have no feelings for men. I am happy the way I am. Please don't ever talk to me about this matter again."
To Be Continued
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