Three weeks after Anna's phone call to her father, Shahzdeh came. Anna and Aria went to the airport. They had talked it over that Shahzdeh would stay with Anna. It was a hot Saturday in July. Humidity was unbearable; nonetheless, it was not the hot temperature that burning her from inside out and all over, but it was the thought of her father's discovering Aria's marriage.
In her apartment, Shahzdeh took a shower first. He seemed tired and looked old. Upon their arrival, Anna had introduced her roommate:
"Dad, this my roommate, Marianna."
Shahzseh's initial response was not pleasant, but as time passed, during the evening meal and after they talked for a while, since Shahzdeh spoke fairly good English, he began liking Marianna, this young roommate of his daughter. He ate his daughter's cooking and he could not be stern about it. "I didn't know you can cook!"
"I learned with the help of recipe books, besides I used to watch our cook and learned a lot from her. I hope you like it."
Aria had dinner with them, too. While the evening was elapsing, Anna and Aria gave report of their achievement at school to their father. It was a year and and a half that she had left Iran. Shahzdeh was pleased to hear that his children were doing good at school. The thought of his son becoming a medical doctor and his daughter becoming a nurse for now and later to become a teacher at nursing school was pleasing to his ears. On the other hand, Anna and Aria were gratified by their performance which they knew it was a calm before storm. The thought of telling the shocking news of Aria'a marriage to their father trembled them both. When late in the evening Aria was leaving, Shahzdeh got up, too. "I go with you. I want to meet your roommate, too."
His children shuddered.
"Why don't you stay with me for a couple of days, father. Aria has this difficult test. He needs to study. After he takes his test, then you go and stay with him for a while." Anna was not lying. Both her brother and she had a test in a few days. It was the end of Summer one semester.
Shahzdeh sat back on his chair. Aria left.
Anna offered her bedroom to her father and she decided to sleep in Marianna's room. That night in the bedroom, Marianna and Anna talked almost all night.
"You just have to tell him." Marianna said. "He'll find out sooner or later."
"You don't understand our culture. When he finds out, I don't know what will he do? It is hard to tell a man like my father what he doesn't want to hear. He is not going to send us money anymore."
"I know and I understand the differences between cultures, but how can you hide something big like this! Unless Rosy leave the apartment as long as your father is here."
"That is not possible. First, she won't do it. Second there is her stuff, clothes, make up, everything is there. It is obvious a woman living there not a man roommate. They can not clear the whole place. My father is not stupid. Even if Rosy won't be there, and Aria brings a friend and pretends he is living with him, my father would know right away."
"I guess you're right. What are you going to do?"
"I don't know. Probably I am the one that must tell him the truth.
In the morning as Anna was making tea for her father, Shahzdeh walked to the kitchen. A feverish shudder ran through every nerve of her body. It was an unbearably dreadful moment.
"I want to go and see Aria' place. I won't bother him. I'll come back for lunch here." Shahzdeh was wrung with anguish. He knew his children were hiding something from him.
"You'll see his place dad. Leave him alone today. Let him study."
"What is going on Anna? What is that you're hiding from me?"His voice had passed its prime, but it was obvious that voice was a fine and gentle one once.
Anna flushed: "Sit down dad. I tell you the truth."
By the time Anna was done telling him everything, she felt stronger than ever. Shahzdeh's face expression showed nothing to Anna. She could not read anything on it. He paced the room up and down like an angry lion. She was dizzy. Finally he sat, raised his head and looked at his daughter straight in the eyes.
"You two have disgraced your family. Why didn't you tell me before so I could stop it?"
"No, father, you couldn't stop it. Aria was blind. He still is. Rosy is draining him both emotionally and financially. She is an absolute user. Believe me it will come to an end, but this is not the time. Aria is very sensitive. If he separates from Rosy now, it will interfere with his school. He'll see through this woman one day on his own. Let him find out for himself."
"I'm not going to throw my money away so this woman get her education, absolutely not."
"Dad, please listen to me. You're not helping her, you're helping Aria. He is very smart. Don't ruin his life."
Anna felt exhausted by the time the conversation was over. She missed her school that day. Shahzdeh did not want to admit, but secretly he admired his daughter for her loyalty to her brother. "She is so grown!" He thought. But if he continued sending money, he had given up his honor, he was bought by Rosy like his son did. That was not acceptable to him. What would he do?
*
After two weeks when Shahzdeh was going back to Iran, he believed that Anna could not live a life like her mother. She was too smart and driven for that kind of life. Deep inside, he respected his daughter, this grown up woman, only eighteen. Nonetheless, he was not certain at all for his son's future. He recognized the first minute he had seen Rosy that Anna had known about that woman, the deceptive side of this charming blond, blue eyes American who was draining his son emotionally and financially and was driving him to insanity.
The conclusion of this trip was to send money to Aria for six more months until he would get a job to support himself and his wife.
To be continued
Showing posts with label Taste of life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Taste of life. Show all posts
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Seven, Taste of Life
"but ignoring the past, is robbing the future. How can I know what to do if I ignore every thing that had happened to me in past? Tell me who Am I? What is Anna? What is me? Do you want me to be a woman without a past?" Stammered Anna.
"No, that is not what I meant. Don't ignore anything, use it. You must study your history to know who you are. Remember I am a historian. Everything from two thousand years ago and beyond related to today only in different shape and form. When you study your history, you'll certainly know who you are. Then you can make intelligent decision for your future. I said don't duel on past."
"I understand what you said. I don't think I am dueling in past. To me, my past or your past are like chapters of a book; you read them and move on to the next chapter; but you can't forget them, because if you do, you don't understand the rest of the book." If there was a light on there, he could see the rim of her hazel color eyes were more pronounced.
"This was a very good comparison. Just look at them as chapters of books as you, yourself, said. don't read them over and over. I understand that you've been through a lot; so have I. But you're a fighter as I have said repeatedly. This is one of your most important quality; and the other ability which is hard to find in others, specially immigrants like you, is that you can easily adapt to new situation and environment; something everyone should have, immigrant or not and most don't. Look at you, see what you've done. While all girls in your school married at young age and never knew their qualities, let us say if they were born here, you fought your father tooth and nail and convinced him to come to America and became educated. You worked and supported yourself, again unheard among women of your class in Iran. I know the tragedy of your first marriage and what happened to your brother were beyond endurance, but you survived and prevailed. You're a fighter. Stay that way." His voice sounded normal, as though he was not fighting for his life. Anna could picture his kind, shiny brown eyes specially when he was excited or he was acting like a teacher.
Suddenly a chill blast of air struck Anna and a thought flashed through her mind.
"Are you okay here, honey? May be we go inside."
"I'm fine. Never been better. I am enjoying myself."
"I'm just worried, that is all."
"Don't. What's going to happen, happens. You and I have no control over it. Back to what we were talking about, I think people like you and I are very isolated because we are very independent in mind and soul. That makes us different and segregated. We look at each other and others through our own lenses and and values."
"That is true. I very much believe in what you just said. We're honest and simple. We tell the truth even though most of the times it hurts us."
"How can we not tell the truth if we don't project things on ourselves?" Joseph said while starting a new cigar.
"That is my point. When I look at a problem or a person, I don't see objective reality. I see things filter through my own perception. Another words, we can't escape ourselves; we wouldn't want to. All people see reality as it is in their mind. We look at things trough our own experiences. We need to adjust our lenses for understanding the truth. The only way we can relate to others is to look at ourselves and recall the things we know." She spoke more and more vehemently.
He stayed quiet for a short while, devouring what she just said. Then he poured more wine in the glasses. "I adore you." He said it in his speaking mind.
"I see me in you. You talk my heart. You take my breath away. I could not say it better than you did. You know, honey, we are in the category of a small portion of the human beings, the independent in mind. I want to do what I am pleased to do. Most people don't understand us. How can they? The whole point of Socrates is to know yourself, know your perception, and relate to what you know. That is the only way to now the truth." His pale smile was seen in the moonshine.
"But yet, even though we're different and independent thinkers, we both have made many mistakes like majority of people. Why is that? How come?" Anna inquired.
"because we are all part animals,too. We do fall in bad situations, bad habits, like my two terrible marriages that ended up to divorce before I met you."
Anna gazed into space thoughtfully. She felt relaxed. A breeze shivered her a little and suddenly she remembered the catastrophe she would come to face soon. The hateful thought shook her and she looked ardently at her husband.
"Don't you think it's time to go inside. It's getting a little chilly."
"What time is it?"
"I don't know. Let's go inside."
It was two in the morning. They have spent five hours outside in the gazebo, just as imagining normal things and talking about it would solve their problem. In bed, Anna thought of the harsh way that life was about to steal her bliss. "It's not fair." She thought.
*
To Be Continued
"No, that is not what I meant. Don't ignore anything, use it. You must study your history to know who you are. Remember I am a historian. Everything from two thousand years ago and beyond related to today only in different shape and form. When you study your history, you'll certainly know who you are. Then you can make intelligent decision for your future. I said don't duel on past."
"I understand what you said. I don't think I am dueling in past. To me, my past or your past are like chapters of a book; you read them and move on to the next chapter; but you can't forget them, because if you do, you don't understand the rest of the book." If there was a light on there, he could see the rim of her hazel color eyes were more pronounced.
"This was a very good comparison. Just look at them as chapters of books as you, yourself, said. don't read them over and over. I understand that you've been through a lot; so have I. But you're a fighter as I have said repeatedly. This is one of your most important quality; and the other ability which is hard to find in others, specially immigrants like you, is that you can easily adapt to new situation and environment; something everyone should have, immigrant or not and most don't. Look at you, see what you've done. While all girls in your school married at young age and never knew their qualities, let us say if they were born here, you fought your father tooth and nail and convinced him to come to America and became educated. You worked and supported yourself, again unheard among women of your class in Iran. I know the tragedy of your first marriage and what happened to your brother were beyond endurance, but you survived and prevailed. You're a fighter. Stay that way." His voice sounded normal, as though he was not fighting for his life. Anna could picture his kind, shiny brown eyes specially when he was excited or he was acting like a teacher.
Suddenly a chill blast of air struck Anna and a thought flashed through her mind.
"Are you okay here, honey? May be we go inside."
"I'm fine. Never been better. I am enjoying myself."
"I'm just worried, that is all."
"Don't. What's going to happen, happens. You and I have no control over it. Back to what we were talking about, I think people like you and I are very isolated because we are very independent in mind and soul. That makes us different and segregated. We look at each other and others through our own lenses and and values."
"That is true. I very much believe in what you just said. We're honest and simple. We tell the truth even though most of the times it hurts us."
"How can we not tell the truth if we don't project things on ourselves?" Joseph said while starting a new cigar.
"That is my point. When I look at a problem or a person, I don't see objective reality. I see things filter through my own perception. Another words, we can't escape ourselves; we wouldn't want to. All people see reality as it is in their mind. We look at things trough our own experiences. We need to adjust our lenses for understanding the truth. The only way we can relate to others is to look at ourselves and recall the things we know." She spoke more and more vehemently.
He stayed quiet for a short while, devouring what she just said. Then he poured more wine in the glasses. "I adore you." He said it in his speaking mind.
"I see me in you. You talk my heart. You take my breath away. I could not say it better than you did. You know, honey, we are in the category of a small portion of the human beings, the independent in mind. I want to do what I am pleased to do. Most people don't understand us. How can they? The whole point of Socrates is to know yourself, know your perception, and relate to what you know. That is the only way to now the truth." His pale smile was seen in the moonshine.
"But yet, even though we're different and independent thinkers, we both have made many mistakes like majority of people. Why is that? How come?" Anna inquired.
"because we are all part animals,too. We do fall in bad situations, bad habits, like my two terrible marriages that ended up to divorce before I met you."
Anna gazed into space thoughtfully. She felt relaxed. A breeze shivered her a little and suddenly she remembered the catastrophe she would come to face soon. The hateful thought shook her and she looked ardently at her husband.
"Don't you think it's time to go inside. It's getting a little chilly."
"What time is it?"
"I don't know. Let's go inside."
It was two in the morning. They have spent five hours outside in the gazebo, just as imagining normal things and talking about it would solve their problem. In bed, Anna thought of the harsh way that life was about to steal her bliss. "It's not fair." She thought.
*
To Be Continued
Friday, May 28, 2010
Seven-------------Taste of Life
As the hot summer of Dallas was showing its stony face, Anna realized that there was no reckoning with life. Everything was dominated by sunshine, as she was full of blood of life, and planets were woven green and gold shimmering juice. The naked truth of life was more than her comprehension. She thought dizzily, as she walked in the midst of the intense rolling of sunshine. It appeared to her as if the splendor of her vision and ambition were being ablaze in this overwhelming forge, abandoning her like an awkward dying tree from thirst.
Strangely, Joseph was feeling much better, like a calm before storm; nevertheless, that temporary good feeling was not an unknown symptom to her. She knew by experience that most terminal patients transitory would feel good at the end. It was a horrifying sensation for her and a pleasant one for him. She strove not to show her tremendous fear to her husband. For the first time in the last six months, he felt like walking to the back yard. He had yearned so much for their ardent discourse.
There, where a soothing breeze traveled from the fruit trees into the gazebo, he asked her to bring a bottle of wine and two glasses, as they used to do in the beginning of their marriage. She was reluctant to do so, but how could she take away one of his last desires; to be within his own creation, the gazebo, out in the nature, having conversation, drinking wine, and smoking his cigar. He never liked the rules that tied people to do things which caused no harms to others.
That evening he was a teacher again, his normal self. In the course of the conversation, both forgot that he was sick. His self showed no agony. Sitting on the wrought Iron chair, she like old days, put her feet on his lap and he began massaging them. As wine slowly warmed their blood, they relaxed and drowned themselves in the discourse while rocking their chairs. He was himself again, his natural self that she adored about him. Nature cooperated with them and stars shone and full moon was in full bloom.
"It's an epuhoria to be here again. I've forgotten how the yard looks like." He seemed happy.
"I'm so glad that you feel better. I've missed this, too."
"You don't sound enthusiastic. What is bothering you? Are you worried for me?"
"Nothing bothers me. I'm fine." Her voice was saddened by her emotion of fear which she wanted to believe it was happiness. But it could not be hidden from him.
"Tell me, sweet heart, why are you sad? Are you scared? What is holding you to be happy? Look at this beautiful sky. Enjoy it. Who cares what happens tomorrow."
She stayed silent for awhile. He could not see in the dark her cloudy eyes. He knew well her sensitivity and the things she had faced in her life.
"You're a strong woman. Don't let your emotion destroy you. You are a fighter. You've always been a fighter. See what you've accomplished in your life!"
Suddenly her silent sobbing changed to a roar of uncontrollably cry. Wine was affecting her resilience. He stayed unspoken for awhile and let her cry. He understood that all her past experiences and the one year of his sickness had taken their toll on her and finally breaking her. After she had no tears to shed anymore, he poured more wine in both glasses and Anna started a cigarette.
"Dueling in past is robbing the present. You need to put all those behind you. You're safe with me. This is the least I can do for you after all you've done for me. I know my situation is not an easy one. I am so lucky to have you to go through this with." His voice sounded euphonious. It was like a harmonious symphony.
To Be Continued
Strangely, Joseph was feeling much better, like a calm before storm; nevertheless, that temporary good feeling was not an unknown symptom to her. She knew by experience that most terminal patients transitory would feel good at the end. It was a horrifying sensation for her and a pleasant one for him. She strove not to show her tremendous fear to her husband. For the first time in the last six months, he felt like walking to the back yard. He had yearned so much for their ardent discourse.
There, where a soothing breeze traveled from the fruit trees into the gazebo, he asked her to bring a bottle of wine and two glasses, as they used to do in the beginning of their marriage. She was reluctant to do so, but how could she take away one of his last desires; to be within his own creation, the gazebo, out in the nature, having conversation, drinking wine, and smoking his cigar. He never liked the rules that tied people to do things which caused no harms to others.
That evening he was a teacher again, his normal self. In the course of the conversation, both forgot that he was sick. His self showed no agony. Sitting on the wrought Iron chair, she like old days, put her feet on his lap and he began massaging them. As wine slowly warmed their blood, they relaxed and drowned themselves in the discourse while rocking their chairs. He was himself again, his natural self that she adored about him. Nature cooperated with them and stars shone and full moon was in full bloom.
"It's an epuhoria to be here again. I've forgotten how the yard looks like." He seemed happy.
"I'm so glad that you feel better. I've missed this, too."
"You don't sound enthusiastic. What is bothering you? Are you worried for me?"
"Nothing bothers me. I'm fine." Her voice was saddened by her emotion of fear which she wanted to believe it was happiness. But it could not be hidden from him.
"Tell me, sweet heart, why are you sad? Are you scared? What is holding you to be happy? Look at this beautiful sky. Enjoy it. Who cares what happens tomorrow."
She stayed silent for awhile. He could not see in the dark her cloudy eyes. He knew well her sensitivity and the things she had faced in her life.
"You're a strong woman. Don't let your emotion destroy you. You are a fighter. You've always been a fighter. See what you've accomplished in your life!"
Suddenly her silent sobbing changed to a roar of uncontrollably cry. Wine was affecting her resilience. He stayed unspoken for awhile and let her cry. He understood that all her past experiences and the one year of his sickness had taken their toll on her and finally breaking her. After she had no tears to shed anymore, he poured more wine in both glasses and Anna started a cigarette.
"Dueling in past is robbing the present. You need to put all those behind you. You're safe with me. This is the least I can do for you after all you've done for me. I know my situation is not an easy one. I am so lucky to have you to go through this with." His voice sounded euphonious. It was like a harmonious symphony.
To Be Continued
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Chapter Seven, Taste Of Life
In a life so tasty, mysterious, and adorable,
An overwhelming power binds us to drive.
The temporary, sad life is not avoidable;
Nevertheless, the hidden purpose of it keeps us alive.
It's moments are filled with blues,
And many more grief we always face.
Reaching to our exhausted goals bring us bad news;
As a baby cries in the comfort of embrace.
When the innocent age is over, it comes longing and pain.
At youth, the ambitious drives push and confound.
Being old, tormented memories hammer the brain.
At death bed, the momentary life doesn't seem profound.
I wonder, is a moment worth all woes?
My secret other self brightens my eyes for a path.
For the lovers of love, there are beauties and rainbows,
While the ignorant people are drowned in lust and wrath.
*
In the crowded street, Anna could find solitude, the most universal, anticipated, and trusting state of human being; that cherished and and serene nature of being aware of the world and herself. She felt that not every beginning had an end hidden in it; the solution could not always be recognized. It was sometimes covered too well.
The relief was so great for her that it overshadowed the fear of telling her father about moving out from her brother's place. But when Sunday came, the day that her father always called to talk to both his children, she woke up sweaty an wet from an unbelievable fear, trembling. Shahzdeh would call Aria's apartment to talk to them. "What would Aria say to him?" She thought. "Anna is not home. She moved out." She pictured her father's outrage. Brain storming over a solution, she finally came to the conclusion to call her father herself. This was something she had to do. She hated to betray her brother because she knew for fact that his wife would betray him when she was done draining him. Not knowing how the conversation would turn out, she dialed the number. She looked at the clock. "It is two in the afternoon there in Tehran." Shahzdeh answered the phone himself.
"Father, it is me."
"Anna, what's wrong? Why did you call? It is four in the morning there. I was going to call myself a little later on."
"Don't worry, dad. I missed you and mom so I thought I call you."
"Is everything okay? How is Aria? How is school?"
"Everything is fine. I must say something to you..."
"What, what, Anna? What is wrong?"
"Dad, please listen. Everything is fine. I moved out. I don't live with Aria anymore."
"What did you say? Did I hear it correctly? Why did you that for? Who gave you the right to do that?"
"Dad, please listen. I can explain. Our schedule is very different and Aria had a very hard time to take me to school. Besides one of his friends moved in with him so they can help each other in their studying. I could not stay there with another man in the home. I got an apartment near school and one of my friend, a nursing student is my roommate. Believe me this is much better for both of us. I don't need a car now to go to school. Marianna, my roommate, is very smart and she helps me a lot." Anna felt breathless. She could not believe the lies she was saying to her father, herself.
A long silence ensued. Then Shahzdeh said in a very different tone of voice:
"I want you to come back to Iran right away."
"Please dad, don't do this. I am not coming back until I finish school."
"All right then! I will come there as soon as possible. You are going to kill me one of these days." And he hanged up the phone.
Anna felt powerless after the conversation. "What will I do?" She felt as though she had ruined her life and her brother's life by that call; but did she have any other choice? Shahzdeh would find out himself sooner or later. Now the only thought she had was how to protect her brother. She did not care at that moment for herself. If their father came, he would find out about Aria's marriage and her lying to him. What would she do.
In a few hours she called Aria and told him what had happened. Aria was outrageous.
"You ruined my life."
"No, I had to. What were you planning to to tell him when he asked you about me? I had to. I promise that I fix things for you."
Fixing things, something that Anna learned to do from very young age.
*
To be continued
An overwhelming power binds us to drive.
The temporary, sad life is not avoidable;
Nevertheless, the hidden purpose of it keeps us alive.
It's moments are filled with blues,
And many more grief we always face.
Reaching to our exhausted goals bring us bad news;
As a baby cries in the comfort of embrace.
When the innocent age is over, it comes longing and pain.
At youth, the ambitious drives push and confound.
Being old, tormented memories hammer the brain.
At death bed, the momentary life doesn't seem profound.
I wonder, is a moment worth all woes?
My secret other self brightens my eyes for a path.
For the lovers of love, there are beauties and rainbows,
While the ignorant people are drowned in lust and wrath.
*
In the crowded street, Anna could find solitude, the most universal, anticipated, and trusting state of human being; that cherished and and serene nature of being aware of the world and herself. She felt that not every beginning had an end hidden in it; the solution could not always be recognized. It was sometimes covered too well.
The relief was so great for her that it overshadowed the fear of telling her father about moving out from her brother's place. But when Sunday came, the day that her father always called to talk to both his children, she woke up sweaty an wet from an unbelievable fear, trembling. Shahzdeh would call Aria's apartment to talk to them. "What would Aria say to him?" She thought. "Anna is not home. She moved out." She pictured her father's outrage. Brain storming over a solution, she finally came to the conclusion to call her father herself. This was something she had to do. She hated to betray her brother because she knew for fact that his wife would betray him when she was done draining him. Not knowing how the conversation would turn out, she dialed the number. She looked at the clock. "It is two in the afternoon there in Tehran." Shahzdeh answered the phone himself.
"Father, it is me."
"Anna, what's wrong? Why did you call? It is four in the morning there. I was going to call myself a little later on."
"Don't worry, dad. I missed you and mom so I thought I call you."
"Is everything okay? How is Aria? How is school?"
"Everything is fine. I must say something to you..."
"What, what, Anna? What is wrong?"
"Dad, please listen. Everything is fine. I moved out. I don't live with Aria anymore."
"What did you say? Did I hear it correctly? Why did you that for? Who gave you the right to do that?"
"Dad, please listen. I can explain. Our schedule is very different and Aria had a very hard time to take me to school. Besides one of his friends moved in with him so they can help each other in their studying. I could not stay there with another man in the home. I got an apartment near school and one of my friend, a nursing student is my roommate. Believe me this is much better for both of us. I don't need a car now to go to school. Marianna, my roommate, is very smart and she helps me a lot." Anna felt breathless. She could not believe the lies she was saying to her father, herself.
A long silence ensued. Then Shahzdeh said in a very different tone of voice:
"I want you to come back to Iran right away."
"Please dad, don't do this. I am not coming back until I finish school."
"All right then! I will come there as soon as possible. You are going to kill me one of these days." And he hanged up the phone.
Anna felt powerless after the conversation. "What will I do?" She felt as though she had ruined her life and her brother's life by that call; but did she have any other choice? Shahzdeh would find out himself sooner or later. Now the only thought she had was how to protect her brother. She did not care at that moment for herself. If their father came, he would find out about Aria's marriage and her lying to him. What would she do.
In a few hours she called Aria and told him what had happened. Aria was outrageous.
"You ruined my life."
"No, I had to. What were you planning to to tell him when he asked you about me? I had to. I promise that I fix things for you."
Fixing things, something that Anna learned to do from very young age.
*
To be continued
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