That entire day, Anna thought about those men. Her disturbance, seemed to Steve only the excitement of the beginning of their honeymoon trip next morning. She dared not to say another word to him about the two men in the parking garage after talking more than half an hour about it. He would probably laugh at her and tell her perhaps that she reads too many fictions. "Two men, in public parking garage, so what!" There was also something else in her mind. She was behind three days. She remembered on their wedding night when Steve had asked her if she was on birth control pill, or if he needed to use protection.
"No, Honey, I don't get pregnant now. I just finished my period and from what we learned in the nursing school..."
Steve interrupted her: "Oh, sweet heart, I know all about rhythm method, besides I think you look beautiful pregnant, unless you want to wait a while."
"It doesn't matter either way for me. I just want you to make love to me now." Anna's passion was unknown to her at that moment.
"Oh, my love, you're right. It doesn't matter. You had made me to wait for so long, my sweet wife."
They had used protection during the time that a woman can get pregnant nevertheless.
That evening she finally told Steve that she was behind. She gazed at him not to miss his first expression. He stayed quiet for a moment that seemed like eternity to her, and then said: "Are you sure?"
"Sure of what? I've never been behind. I don't know what it means. May be is only a temporary delay or maybe..."
Steve held her close to him; and then said while kissing her face: "That is great. I like it. When we come back from Hawaii, if you still haven't got your period, we go to a doctor."
Even though he was gentle and kind, she did not think he was very happy. She was not sure if she, herself, was happy or frightened. She accused him of not being happy in her speaking mind; however immediately she thought about her extreme sensitivity and her habit of trying to interpret everything to something else.
That night in bed, he just could not calm her anxiety. His touches, warmth, and kisses did not tremble her as before- a kind of trembling that she could not find the right word for it; and only Steve could make her to feel that way. Her back was to him; and she was staring in dark to an unknown place. If someone could see her expression at that moment, it was nothing but a striking finality. Without seeing her, Steve knew that she was not asleep; and the things that they had talked about during the day now were troubling her tremendously. He knew how excited she had been the entire week for their honeymoon trip. Even though he, himself, was a seasoned traveler for his job, sometimes he could not sleep the night before; but his reason was mostly was the nature of the job he had to do where ever he was going. He thought hard. Was she upset because she was late, or the story in the parking garage that she had talked about it all day? If she was upset being late, it was her own doing because she did not want to take pills and she did not want to minimize his pleasure by using protection; therefore she was using the rhythm method of women ovulation between the two periods. If she was upset because of the story in the parking garage, that seemed to him such a childish worrying that only a woman like Anna could create. What was it then? He was entirely perplexed. Gently he slid his hand under her neck and pulled her close to him. She trembled of his touch but not the special trembling of pleasure. This was a frightening tremble.
"Honey, what is bothering you. You've been upset all day today. We have a long, tiring day tomorrow. We both need to rest."
She did not respond. He tried to turn her over so he can see her face, but she resented it. He sat on the bed and turned on the light on the night stand. She closed her eyes. The sudden light was too harsh to her eyes. He started a cigarette.
"Light one for me, too." She finally spoke.
He handed her the cigarette. She also sat on the bed with the ashtray between of them on the mattress.
"Do you want to talk?" He asked her despondently.
Anna exhaled a ring of smoke from her mouth and gazed at her hand. "I'm frightened, horrified." Her throat was dry and tears made her eyes cloudy.
Steve put his cigarette in the ashtray and hugged her. "Why sweetheart? Are you still upset from what happened in the morning or for being late?"
She put off her cigarette, while doing that, it broke in half in the ashtray. She hid her face in Steve's chest and told him about the two men she had seen in the parking garage again. "I am not paranoid, Steve."
His first impression was a loud laughter. Quickly he realized that was not a nice thing to do.
"Why do you think they wanted to harm you?"
Anna straightened her back and pulled herself out of his embrace. Through her rainy eyes, she gazed at him and said: "I don't think they wanted to harm me!"
"So why are you so scared?"
She swallowed the knot in her throat which almost chocked her. "I think they wanted to harm you!"
"Where did you get that idea? You read too many novels." He was immediately regretful of what he had said.
Anna ignored the part about "reading too many novels" and said: "I don't know. All these secret things you do. And then I heard...I read things about CIA."
"Oh, honey, you're just too paranoid. Hopefully I'll quit my job soon and give you a peace of mind."
She sighed.
"We need to get some sleep. Our taxi will be here at eight in the morning to take us to the airport." He said it somewhat irritated manner.
"I can't sleep."
"If you can't sleep, I can't sleep either."
"Oh, honey, I'll be fine. I am used to not sleeping."
"Listen Anna, I don't want you to be tired tomorrow. I want you to enjoy yourself. I'm going to give you a sleeping pill."
She thought for a moment. It was not a bad idea to sleep and put a cover on all these dreadful thoughts she had.
"Okay,"
"I'm going to take one myself. We can wake up by alarm clock. I fix it for six o'clock."
They both took the sleeping pills that doctor had prescribed for Anna for her insomnia.. He turned off the light and watched her to fall asleep while waiting himself before the fog of the sleeping pill would take him to the world of rest and tranquility.
As Anna was traveling in the dream world, she heard an echo of the grumbling of a wild animal. She was in a jungle; the animal, she thought was a wolf. The echo first sounded like a lonely cry of the animal calling his mate, but soon when the echo dissipated, it was not a forlorn cry but it was a savage growl. Her heart palpitated with a primitive fear. It was not any complicated fear as she had known but just a simple fear. Then she saw the eyes of the wolf in the darkness. Those eyes were yellow; but she could see the two men with army jacket on in yellowness of those eyes. As she turned her face away, thinking about running away, a dry branch of a tree cut her face. She felt the warm, wet fluid on her face, rushing down her neck and chest. Her feet were numb. She realized suddenly that not only she could not run, she could not even walk. The cut on her face brought her an excruciating pain and a burning sensation. She wiped the blood with her hands; but the blood on her hands suddenly lit up, and she could see that all her body was bloody. The wolf had injured her real bad.
Anna opened her eyes terrorized. It was dark, quiet, and mysterious. She turned around to touch Steve for comfort. He was there. She stretched herself to sleep a little more but she felt the sheet was wet. She thought she was still in her dream. She rubbed her face. Her hands were wet. She sat up horrified. She wanted to make sure she was awake. Her heart pounded so fast she thought she was having a heart attack. She reached for the light and turned it on. The sudden light made her close her eyes momentarily. Then slowly she opened her eyes and looked around. Steve's back was to her. He had the cover all wrapped around him. She sighed of relief. As she was reaching for the light to turn it off, she noticed blood on her hand. She looked more intensely; her night gown, the sheet, the comforter were all covered in blood.
"Oh, God...!" The scream could not be heard from her chocked voice.
To Be Continued
Showing posts with label A Dark Day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label A Dark Day. Show all posts
Friday, July 2, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Twenty Five, A Dark Day
Our volition, we thought, would keep us for each other.
Meandering became a path of shudder.
The world of deviation inside us and sky,
Transparent as clouds, believable as our sigh.
*
How can God create tormented miracle?
How one worships him in this webs of hell?
Meandering, you may look back to neither
Past nor future, for all paths are bitter.
*
The cure for healing in in dying, they say.
How can I rescue me from my dark, isolated day?
Together we were, now one is lost.
He must be inside of me, what a great cost!
*
Steve dreaded to frighten the obscured shield of Anna's beauty and grace; but Anna manifested with her expression and action that she was not scared and that she understood the fact that she had become a woman. His slightly force tone of voice was affectedly positive. He said that he was happy that they were married. She did not have to struggle any more for things to happen. To him, they had made a mark, a beautiful one in their joint lives. Thus, she thought a little different. For her life could not be an exhibit of time. But it did not matter what they thought. For both of them, what had happened in that hotel room was a sweet discovery, a finding of a special pleasure for the inexperienced Anna; and for Steve was being able to teach Anna the pleasure of love making.
In that cold January morning, they went out to the street filled with people, who were nameless to them. The azure, expansive sky reflected its colors of brown and blue on trees. Beyond, enfolded with clouds and sparkled in the mist, was standing the city. It was the same city Anna had known for a long time; however, she was a new and different person that morning. She was giddy yet vivacious, dependant yet responsible. Her eyes widened and she exhaled a long steam of delight to see the best of the nature in the city on the first day of her married life, and on her twentieth birthday. That morning was different than any morning she had known in her life.
Shahzdeh and Fatie left Three days after the wedding. It was three intense days for both Anna and Steve because they asked Anna's parents to stayed with them in their apartment rather than hotel and they accepted it.
Steve's reserve manner and Anna's shyness prevented them to be affectionate in front of her parents. Nonetheless, Her mom's wonderful cooking and her dad's spoiling her brought back so many fond memories of the past. Stacy and Charlie came for dinner all three nights. When her parents left, she wept. Surprisingly Steve and Stacy wept, too. They loved Anna's parents as they were their owns. One thing happened in those three days was they started calling Anna's parents mom and dad upon Shahzdeh's request. Even though It sounded odd the first time, it became normal after that.
Soon, life was back to normal. Anna busy with work and school, and Steve busy with work and getting ready to take the bar exam. He had finally finished school before their marriage. Anna was overwhelmingly happy that her husband would soon leave CIA and would become a lawyer. As a matter of fact Steve, himself, was looking forward to it, too. Anna was certain that he would pass the bar exam.
Every evening Steve helped Anna to prepare the dinner. That was one of the joy they shared together. At night, they showed their love for each other passionately before falling asleep. Every Saturday they went to their favorite Italian restaurant and to a movie. On Sundays they stayed in bed till late in the morning, sometimes noon. They talked, made love, and talked more. Every Friday Stacy and Charlie came for dinner. Charlie had moved in with Stacy and gave up his apartment. Everything was so pleasant that Anna laughed at her fear before their marriage.
In the evening, after dinner and cleaning the kitchen together, Anna played the piano. All her notes were brought by her parents. She acquired more notes of great classical music she and Steve loved; and soon she was able to play them without mistake and mostly by heart. Steve loved to sit on the sofa, smoke his cigarette and watch her play the piano with her fine fingers.
The morning that Steve was to take the bar exam, he was nervous, just like when he had been a little boy; but his wife's kisses and kind words were in his mind the entire time he was taking the exam. Her passion and kindness had erased all the anxieties from his mind. That evening he was calm.
"How did you do?" Anna asked.
"Great. I am very hopeful." He responded.
"When will you know the result?"
"Perhaps in a month or two."
It was only a week left before they would take their honeymoon trip to Hawaii. Both were excited and could not wait. Steve had been in Hawaii once before and talked lengthily to Anna about the beauties of the islands. Anna made a list of what they were taking and began packing a week before.
"It's too early to pack, sweetheart."
"We may forget something. No, it's not to early."
"You're very excited for this trip." Steve said while caressing her hair. They were sitting in the sofa. Anna's head was on Steve's chest. Steve's hands were inside her hair and sometimes into her blouse in her back.
"yes, I am very excited. To be with you alone in the islands. Oh, I can't wait." By this time, they were kissing and exciting each other.
It was a long, tiring week, the longest week Anna had known. She read the book "HAWAII" by James Michener again this week; and pictured herself and Steve in those islands as they had come to existence according to the author. Steve watched his wife's fervor and was pleased and content. His knowing glance gave Anna confidence. They had been two that now were one in the body of love.
The morning before their departure was promising and rich. It was Sunday. Anna left their apartment late in the morning to buy a few more things she thought they might need for their trips. Steve was still in bed, mesmerizing and savoring their love making.
Next to her car, in the parking garage, she noticed two men she had never seen in their apartment building. They had dark sunglasses on in the dim parking garage. They both had green, army jackets with blue jeans on. Anna suddenly shuddered when she noticed they were looking towards her, so she thought. She got into her car and drove up to the store. She eyed the rear view mirror, thinking they were following her; but they were not. Who were they? Why did they look at her? It was cloudy and beneath the dense marquee of naked trees, she took a glimpse of blue patches of sky amongst the white cloud. The commencing sun ridiculed skyline with its orange and red wink. The effect of the two man in the parking garage staring at her, she was sure of it, even though they were wearing dark sun glasses, remained in her mind. She just could not forget them. There was something about them that had shivered her then, and shook her now.
To Be Continued
Meandering became a path of shudder.
The world of deviation inside us and sky,
Transparent as clouds, believable as our sigh.
*
How can God create tormented miracle?
How one worships him in this webs of hell?
Meandering, you may look back to neither
Past nor future, for all paths are bitter.
*
The cure for healing in in dying, they say.
How can I rescue me from my dark, isolated day?
Together we were, now one is lost.
He must be inside of me, what a great cost!
*
Steve dreaded to frighten the obscured shield of Anna's beauty and grace; but Anna manifested with her expression and action that she was not scared and that she understood the fact that she had become a woman. His slightly force tone of voice was affectedly positive. He said that he was happy that they were married. She did not have to struggle any more for things to happen. To him, they had made a mark, a beautiful one in their joint lives. Thus, she thought a little different. For her life could not be an exhibit of time. But it did not matter what they thought. For both of them, what had happened in that hotel room was a sweet discovery, a finding of a special pleasure for the inexperienced Anna; and for Steve was being able to teach Anna the pleasure of love making.
In that cold January morning, they went out to the street filled with people, who were nameless to them. The azure, expansive sky reflected its colors of brown and blue on trees. Beyond, enfolded with clouds and sparkled in the mist, was standing the city. It was the same city Anna had known for a long time; however, she was a new and different person that morning. She was giddy yet vivacious, dependant yet responsible. Her eyes widened and she exhaled a long steam of delight to see the best of the nature in the city on the first day of her married life, and on her twentieth birthday. That morning was different than any morning she had known in her life.
Shahzdeh and Fatie left Three days after the wedding. It was three intense days for both Anna and Steve because they asked Anna's parents to stayed with them in their apartment rather than hotel and they accepted it.
Steve's reserve manner and Anna's shyness prevented them to be affectionate in front of her parents. Nonetheless, Her mom's wonderful cooking and her dad's spoiling her brought back so many fond memories of the past. Stacy and Charlie came for dinner all three nights. When her parents left, she wept. Surprisingly Steve and Stacy wept, too. They loved Anna's parents as they were their owns. One thing happened in those three days was they started calling Anna's parents mom and dad upon Shahzdeh's request. Even though It sounded odd the first time, it became normal after that.
Soon, life was back to normal. Anna busy with work and school, and Steve busy with work and getting ready to take the bar exam. He had finally finished school before their marriage. Anna was overwhelmingly happy that her husband would soon leave CIA and would become a lawyer. As a matter of fact Steve, himself, was looking forward to it, too. Anna was certain that he would pass the bar exam.
Every evening Steve helped Anna to prepare the dinner. That was one of the joy they shared together. At night, they showed their love for each other passionately before falling asleep. Every Saturday they went to their favorite Italian restaurant and to a movie. On Sundays they stayed in bed till late in the morning, sometimes noon. They talked, made love, and talked more. Every Friday Stacy and Charlie came for dinner. Charlie had moved in with Stacy and gave up his apartment. Everything was so pleasant that Anna laughed at her fear before their marriage.
In the evening, after dinner and cleaning the kitchen together, Anna played the piano. All her notes were brought by her parents. She acquired more notes of great classical music she and Steve loved; and soon she was able to play them without mistake and mostly by heart. Steve loved to sit on the sofa, smoke his cigarette and watch her play the piano with her fine fingers.
The morning that Steve was to take the bar exam, he was nervous, just like when he had been a little boy; but his wife's kisses and kind words were in his mind the entire time he was taking the exam. Her passion and kindness had erased all the anxieties from his mind. That evening he was calm.
"How did you do?" Anna asked.
"Great. I am very hopeful." He responded.
"When will you know the result?"
"Perhaps in a month or two."
It was only a week left before they would take their honeymoon trip to Hawaii. Both were excited and could not wait. Steve had been in Hawaii once before and talked lengthily to Anna about the beauties of the islands. Anna made a list of what they were taking and began packing a week before.
"It's too early to pack, sweetheart."
"We may forget something. No, it's not to early."
"You're very excited for this trip." Steve said while caressing her hair. They were sitting in the sofa. Anna's head was on Steve's chest. Steve's hands were inside her hair and sometimes into her blouse in her back.
"yes, I am very excited. To be with you alone in the islands. Oh, I can't wait." By this time, they were kissing and exciting each other.
It was a long, tiring week, the longest week Anna had known. She read the book "HAWAII" by James Michener again this week; and pictured herself and Steve in those islands as they had come to existence according to the author. Steve watched his wife's fervor and was pleased and content. His knowing glance gave Anna confidence. They had been two that now were one in the body of love.
The morning before their departure was promising and rich. It was Sunday. Anna left their apartment late in the morning to buy a few more things she thought they might need for their trips. Steve was still in bed, mesmerizing and savoring their love making.
Next to her car, in the parking garage, she noticed two men she had never seen in their apartment building. They had dark sunglasses on in the dim parking garage. They both had green, army jackets with blue jeans on. Anna suddenly shuddered when she noticed they were looking towards her, so she thought. She got into her car and drove up to the store. She eyed the rear view mirror, thinking they were following her; but they were not. Who were they? Why did they look at her? It was cloudy and beneath the dense marquee of naked trees, she took a glimpse of blue patches of sky amongst the white cloud. The commencing sun ridiculed skyline with its orange and red wink. The effect of the two man in the parking garage staring at her, she was sure of it, even though they were wearing dark sun glasses, remained in her mind. She just could not forget them. There was something about them that had shivered her then, and shook her now.
To Be Continued
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