UNFULFILLED- Nine- *****The Return

"You know that your father planned all these!" Sima began. "He let Mansour to come here everyday; he let you two to fall in love, if one can call that love! He told me himself that you made him uncomfortable because of his second marriage to me. He told me that Mansour was a good man and if you marry him, then we would live in peace since he said your mother couldn't do anything and Sohrab didn't care one way or the other. Now you know. He..."

"Stop, stop!" Neda broke in.

Sima seemed perplexed. She thought why didn't Neda want to know more about it!

"Sima, I knew it. Actually I didn't know it first, But Sohrab, maryam, and even my mom told me that they were sure that father wanted to get rid of me. On my wedding night, I had a big fight with Mansour. I didn't want to go with him to the apartment. Maryam talked me into it even though she knew father had set me up." Neda stopped talking, as though the more she said the more upset Sima and herself got. But she needed to finish this conversation in a good note, so she continued:

"Sima, it's not your fault. If anyone is guilty, is my father and my mother. She should and could have stopped this. She warned me about it, but she did nothing. She didn't stop it. She was so involved in her own grief and whining that not even for a moment she thought about me! Okay now I said it!"

Sima began crying. The two of them hugged each other with real affection and stayed in that position for a while.

"Friend!" Neda said.

"Friend and sister forever!" Sima responded and then continued:

"We need to get you better. You're going to have a hard road ahead of you, with divorce, baby, and being so emotionally and physically sick. Just go take your bath and change. I'll make a good breakfast for both of us and we'll eat it right here in your room."

Neda smiled and nodded her head for agreement. While Sima was gone to prepare the breakfast, Neda made a decision. She knew her father first would blame her before condemning Mansour. Her resolution was self reproach. If she rebuked herself, her father would not have the right to chide her. Sima's help to her was paramount. With her help and promise of friendship, Neda was ready to face anything.

They had breakfast in bed. She had two French toast and two fried eggs with a glass of orange juice. Sima had the same thing and also tea. She felt good about this new event; therefor she did not throw out. She came to conclusion that her vomiting mostly had to do with her state of mind than her pregnancy. She was ready to face her father. She thought again about her vomiting. She asked Sima:

"What do you think, was my vomiting before part of my emotional sickness or the time of vomiting is over since I have my family back?"

Sima laughed. " I'm going to make you all better. With Sohrab's love, my friendship, and your mother's cooking, you will never vomit again!"

With that assurance from Sima and with her new attitude, Sohrab and she walked to her father's room. Suddenly her feeling at that moment turned not only to fear but also to an exhausted despondency of her soon to be isolated and physically inactive because of her pregnancy; and to be alienated from the world she so much wanted to explore and write about. What if she could stay in her own apartment and live on her own? She knew her father and brother would never allow her that!

Father's explosion was like a thunder that filled the house and everything in it. Sima put her head into the room. That short glance from her gave Neda some courage. However, Jalal without considering his second wife's feeling, screamed at her:

"Get out!"

Sima closed the door and disappeared.

"I kill him, I kill him!" Father kept repeating that he would kill Mansour. But one thing that he did not want to admit to anyone was that the reason of his agitation was not truly Mansour, but it was the return of Neda back home. He was screaming because his peace was disturbed. He had sent a child away, a bad child in his opinion, and now that child was returned pregnant and sick. At that moment, Neda was aware of her father's devastation and the reason for it. If she had any doubt before, now she was certain, after talking to Sima, that her father had almost sold her in an unsuitable marriage. She hated herself for being the cause of this. She almost wanted to tell her father that she and his second wife were now friends, but she had promised Sima.

The tone of voice of her father that she had heard a moment ago screaming at his young wife, now was mixed with an obvious bitterness so painful and so inconsequential that Neda was frightened that she and only she was the reason that her father was hurting.

To Be Continued

UNFULFILLED- Nine- The Return

It was getting cold, but not enough to wear heavy clothes. The day was obscure and gloomy. Sky seemed swelling with thunder and storm. Right at three O'clock, Neda stood in front of the stairs of the school, where she had gone everyday for the entire week and had hidden so not to be seen. But today she wanted to be seen. The students and teachers were leaving the school. Her heart began to pound uncontrollably when she saw Mansour descending the stairs. Mitra, his girlfriend was not with him; but Neda could see that she was a little behind talking to another woman. Mansour suddenly saw Neda at the bottom of the stairs. He walked towards her. There was no other way for him unless he went back inside. But he did not want to avoid her. He wanted to end it as much as she did. Staying silent and not talking would delay his marriage to Mitra, who would not marry him unless he was divorced. Neda, at the bottom of stairs, saw in his aura that he intended to talk to her. Frozen without being able to move, the few seconds before he would reach her seemed like a long time. He reached her. She thought for a second to turn around and leave. There was no courage left in her. She had left home all the bravery and gallantry that she thought she could use them for this meeting, but now they were broken in pieces. Now he was right in front of her, almost face to face. He stood, looking at her. There was a strange bewilderment in him seeing her so frail and pale. She forgot why she was there, forgot the speech she had prepared. She could not speak. She was not able to say what she saw in his face when she raised her head finally; but at that moment she also saw the other woman was coming down the stairs. Neda had only a second to say what she had practiced many times before the other woman would be at the bottom of stairs. Mansour had a searching glance; but did not say anything. He just stood there in front of her.

"I must...must talk to you! Come home tonight!" She babbled these few words while feeling she might chock on her own words. She looked at his eyes and saw nothing. She had left very little stamina, she used her last thread of energy, while feeling she was getting sick; turned around and began running. She did not even wait for his answer. Would he or would he not go to see her that evening? She had had a good look at the other woman. The other was beautiful, was a woman, mature, and voluptuous! Neda was praising her rival because he had left her, ignored her and found someone better than her for himself.

Her frenzied soul hated his happiness. Little was left of her affection for him and conventionality of his nature, yet Neda overcame by what was revealed to her now. She had seen the look of the other woman on him. Every veil, she had seen, was stripped from the other woman; and her very vivacity shone in her eyes the way she had looked at Mansour. In this simplistic stare, Neda had seen the naked psyche of the other. She had seen clearly than ever the woman her husband loved and the woman who loved her husband. She had always thought no one could love Mansour. She had proven wrong.

Mother called and said that her father wanted t talk to her. "So they're suspicious!" She was surprised herself that she had been able to hide the leaving of Mansour for three weeks from her family. She had rushed inside her apartment to answer the phone coming back from her short adventure with her husband. "They probably know something is amiss!" She excused herself by saying to her mother that she was studying and she had to go to school and she had exam that night. However she promised to go there the next day. When mother insisted, Neda said with a harsh voice:

" I have to go to school; and after that I want to be at my own home tonight; do you mind?" She had never used this kind of language with her mother. Mehri did not say anything. She knew of her daughter's oscillating mood very well.

To Be Continued