Odyssey... 32- Growth

In profoundly realized but to some extent wavering, being vulnerable of self's standpoint, when the bane of discontented longings have swayed inwards, in that delirium of dubiety, when affliction follows quickly upon the early decision one has made, Hana perceives that the essence of enchanting life is not what she has spoken of. In fact, she learns a shocking actuality about herself in the process of growing and maturing in this new life of freedom and exploration that brings an indefinite message to her moody soul. Everything she has done and known changes in front of her very eyes, and she wonders if she has ever spoken the truth when lecturing morality, honesty, and decency. She does not even recognize this new woman, who is growing inside and taking over her soul and spirit. Who is this woman who wants everyday pleasure of life so badly that she sleep and wakes up with that thought? What happened to all those self- made philosophy that made her to believe that she has been brave and beyond reproach and all these transient happiness and joy?

As certain things begins for people at certain time of their lives, for her, many things are just starting. She, who lacks the normal growth of one's life, has not had a common circumstances in any period of her life. At age forty four now, she feels like a teenager, who desperately thinks about her first love or kiss. What she sees in herself not only frightens her but also bewilders her to the extent of discovering that human beings are very complex creatures.

The opera, to her, is the highest form of art, where a combination of music, operatic singing, stage design, choreography, and libretto, all together come onto the face of earth, and spell binds her and brings tears to her eyes to recognize the genius of people who create it simultaneously. She regrets that she has missed this ultimate form of art all her life. While concentrating intensely on this magical show and trying at the same time to read the subtitle, she does not even know that Mario is holding her hand throughout the entire show.

In the intermission, when they walk into the luxury lobby of Dallas opera, she, in an absolute bewilderment, watches the well dressed and groomed people while sipping her wine. She absorbs thirstily everything that is going on there as though she will never see those again. Reading the brochure about the performance, she wants to learn this new world all at once, as if she does not have enough time on earth to study them gradually.

To Be Continued